He wrote the archetypically arrogant male brushoff e-mail, setting off a firestorm of urban myth and electronic revenge.

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By Gentry Lane

May 11, 1999 | One muggy Washington weekend night, two overworked young professionals hit the dance clubs, among throngs of like-minded revelers. They meet, they dance, they exchange e-mail addresses. Monday morning she sends him a typical "let's get to know each other" e-mail. Carefully crafted to sound aloof yet encouraging, it starts with a friendly opening, coy and slightly flirty second paragraph, and then likely closes with mention of a busy schedule, an allusion to importance in the workplace. Instead of a chipper and equally flirty reply, he gets frank and tells her:

I am at a stage in my life where I'm looking seriously and systematically for someone I can share my life with. You seem like a nice person, and I don't mean this as badly as it might sound, but I don't have time for twenty questions by e-mail. I met five girls Saturday night, have already booked a first coffee with three of them, and meet more every time I go dancing ... and I go dancing at least three times a week. I immediately rule out women who put up too many barriers. I don't do this because I think there's anything wrong with them, nor do I do it because I'm arrogant. I do this simply to economize on time.

I know that dating in this city is difficult and scary for women. But keep in mind it's that way for the guys, too. Most of all, remember that you're competing with thousands of other women who don't insist that the man do all of the work of establishing a connection. And they live closer.

Now, maybe you'll find someone who's so taken by a single dance with you that he's willing to negotiate by e-mail for a chance to trek to your suburban hideout to plead his case. But you might not. And if such a person does exist, and you do happen to cross paths with him -- what do you imagine a guy that desperate would have to offer?

-- Bryan Winter

The nerve! She decides to teach ol' Bryan Winter a lesson. So she cuts and copies the text of his e-mail and sends it to a handful of friends with a tag line:

"In the hopes that this e-mail might get back to him after being seen by countless thousands of young women along the way ... please send this on to a friend!"

She tells her friends. And they tell more friends. And so on, and so on ...

Next page | Cyberstalking the real Bryan Winter