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Out, damned cuff link! | page 1, 2
"If you dated him once, you can tell me." "He's married, Matt!" "How do you know that?" "R_________'s wife is famous in her own right," I snapped. Matt's ignorance of such things amazes me. For example, I always
thought of Henry Kravis as the designer Carolyn Roehm's rich
husband. (Now he's her ex.) But Matt had never heard of Carolyn
Roehm! He frowned. "You've never slept with a married man?" "What kind of question is that? My past doesn't belong to you," I
said. "No kidding. I don't even have your weekends," he replied churlishly. "Hey, do I ever complain about your schedule? I didn't want to
cut this weekend short, either! This is really unfair!" I
protested. We brooded all the way to the bus station and kissed
goodbye -- but we both refused to apologize. On the bus, I prayed that an afternoon of tennis would take Matt's
mind off his suspicions. Getting dressed for Milt's appointment certainly took my mind off
our problems ... After throwing a fresh sheet on the bed, I
liberated my hidden dildo collection. Milt likes to feel that
something pornographic is happening when he visits -- he has a
perfectly good, but normal, sex life at home. A tacky,
unsophisticated "flesh-toned" dildo is the key to making simple sex
outrageous. Milt arrived, in relaxed weekend wear, but looking totally
unrelaxed. He broke into a happy smile at the sight of my bedroom-wear -- a see-through blouse, impossibly high heels and a tiny
skirt. We nestled on the couch for a second but he was too nervous. "Suzy," he said, "There's something you have to know. It's about
your girlfriend, April. She's crazy!" "Well," I said, "She's from California --" "She called me at the office and started making trouble for me." "How -- uh -- did she get your number?" I asked, not wanting to
seem blatantly possessive. "She says she recognized me from that profile in the Journal." When the Wall Street Journal profiled Milt earlier this month, he
and I had a giggle over the flattering line drawing -- which shaved
off 10 years and 20 pounds. "April doesn't strike me as a Wall Street Journal reader!" I said. Nancy Chan: Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl appears in Health & Body every Monday and Thursday. + About Nancy Chan: Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl -- with links to all chapters to date. + Read the Diary from the start. "I was flattered at first. She told me she had my cuff link, said it must have fallen into her bag. I know I'm a jerk but I believed her ... and I went over to her apartment," he finally confessed. "I would take it as a compliment, Milt," I said, putting on my polite professional hat. "She finds you attractive enough to go to the trouble --" of trying to steal my No. 1 customer from right under my nose! And to think I was trying to negotiate a discount for her at my health club! "It gets crazier," Milt moaned. "After I saw her, she didn't give me the cuff link back. I stupidly mentioned that it was a present from my wife." Milt's wife is a part-time jewelry designer who occasionally sells a piece. The cuff link is one-of-a-kind -- he could never deny it was his. "You didn't tell her that your wife designed it?" Milt cringed. "I shouldn't have ... First, she told me she needed a financial commitment to help her get settled. I said I wasn't looking for that kind of relationship. Then she turned nasty. She figured out my car phone number, then she demanded $6,000 in hundreds. She said she'd call my wife and -- she knows where my kids go to school! We've been getting hang-up calls at home from a blocked number. My wife wasn't born yesterday but she would never forgive me for screwing around with a blackmailer. Someone who could mess me up at work or tell the kids ..." I was dumbfounded. I'd be afraid to pull a stunt like this! "How long has this been going on?" "She called the day after we met -- when Sandra came over and we had that foursome ..." his voice faltered and I couldn't help feeling rather fond of him again. "She flattered me ..." I was furious with him for going to April's apartment. He's the only client I care about in that way. "You didn't have to hide it from me," I lied. "You're free to go wherever --" "But I don't go anywhere else, " he began to explain. "Hey, you know that we're basically a lower form of life ... Our brains are in our balls." "Get out the violins," I said, rolling my eyes. Milt gave April the satisfaction of stealing my client and persuading him to sneak around on me! That's what hurts the most. He began apologizing and pulled out all the money in his wallet. I told him it wasn't necessary -- this wasn't really an appointment, after all, and I had introduced him to a scary, unreliable girl. Promising to try to get his cuff link back, I gave him a restrained but dirty glare. "I'll call before I leave for Tokyo," he said, sounding like a guilty lover. When Matt called, I was still brooding over Milt's betrayal with April -- and I pretended I wasn't home.
Episode 12: Heard and not seen
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