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Recently in Salon Health & Body

Jonesing for my Coke high
Why can't I make it through a day without my diet soda fix?
By Liz Krieger
[09/30/99]

Death in custody from "excited delirium"?
Some coroners say suspects are dying not from police brutality but an obscure medical disorder.
By Christian Parenti
[09/29/99]

Urge
Cover me
In a family of exhibitionists, I'm the prude. Now please pass me my towel.
By Anna Mantzaris
[09/28/99]

Urge
Girl trouble
Between good friends and great clients, nobody is as they seem.
By Tracy Quan
[09/27/99]

Urge
Nice married guys
For a single gal in New York, a brush with a married man teaches her all she never hoped to know.
By J. M. Fitzroy
[09/25/99]

Complete archives for Health & Body

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Friday night, August 20, half past pumpkin hour

Still wondering why Jasmine has chosen to follow Allison to a 12-step meeting, of all things. Feeling like a jilted schoolgirl, I have resisted the urge to call Jasmine because clingy females make her paranoid.

"Sounds more like a love affair than a business deal," she remarked, some years ago, when Allison was working for Liane. Like most madams, Liane sometimes loses her objectivity, and she started treating Allison like a long-lost daughter. But Jasmine saw something darker: "In these protégée relationships there's a lesbian attraction on the older woman's part. When the new girl starts asserting her independence, it's a disaster." Jasmine was surprisingly hard on Liane for getting attached to Allison. The fact that Liane and Allison didn't even have sex made the whole thing even more appalling ...

The last thing I want to provoke is Jasmine's revulsion -- but I'm dying to know what inspired her to go out with Allison tonight.

A late-night call from Randy took my mind off all this -- and sent my heart into a tailspin.

"I'm almost done here," Randy said in a hopeful voice. He was nearing the end of his shift at the gym. "Didn't know if you'd be there," he added.

Nancy Chan: Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl appears in Health & Body every Monday and Thursday. + About Nancy Chan: Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl -- with links to all episodes to date. + Read the Diary from the start.

A reckless voice in my head whispered, "Invite him over. You know you want it." But I couldn't help myself -- I had to make Randy respect me. I held out. What for, I thought, are you going to marry this guy? He's not going to buy you a diamond bracelet! Get over it! But I couldn't, and -- panties throbbing, head swimming with pleasure at the sound of his voice -- I stood my ground.

"Duty calls," I told him. "I have to go through this manuscript one more time." My fake editing job comes in handy for explaining anything -- even the most basic female wiles. The disappointment in Randy's voice was gratifying, but I added: "Thank goodness, I've got the weekend to myself" -- letting on that, while I'm hard to bed, the coast is clear.

He picked up quickly on the fact that Matt was away, and made a date for tomorrow afternoon -- at the Frick. I think I could have asked him to meet me at the town morgue, that's how guys are when they really want you. Randy's not paying me, and he can't take me out in the style to which I'm accustomed -- but a penniless lover can court a girl quite ardently. Randy's currency, after all, is passion. I hung up fast before I could weaken and change my mind.

Saturday, almost 3 a.m.

Unable to sleep, have been re-reading "Money of the Mind" by Jim Grant. The steady rant of a Wall Street bear should have a cold-shower effect -- but, even the history of Citibank's lending practices won't extinguish the craving I feel. Was it prudent to put Randy off till tomorrow? Does holding out give me the upper hand -- or simply increase the chance of my falling in love with a totally unsuitable suitor? What about Matt? Why doesn't he make me feel like a sex-starved virgin? What the hell is wrong with me, anyway ...

Next page | A wailing call from Allison