To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > Health & Body Dec. 20, 1999 URL: http://www.salon.com/health/sex/urge/world/1999/12/20/muscle Attack of the steroid-slurping breast men! Pill-popping weight-lifters are turning to liposuction to lose their balconies. - - - - - - - - - - - - By Hank Hyena Dec. 20, 1999 For decades, weight-lifting musclemen have tried to build massive, chiseled chests by supplementing their ruthless workouts with steroids. Soft udders with swollen nipples are the last things wannabe-Schwarzeneggers want to show off when they strip off their tank tops, but ironically, those are what many are sprouting. Womanly mammaries, nicknamed "bitch tits," are a side effect of anabolic steroid use. Gynecomastia (from the Greek words gyne, meaning "woman," and mastos, meaning "breast") is the medical moniker for the excessive male breast tissue that embarrasses 30-35 percent of the XY population, reported cosmetic surgeon Elliott W. Jacobs, M.D., in a Dec. 10 Naked World interview. Steroids, amphetamines, marijuana, insulin, methadone and a plethora of other drugs are considered factors, and many boys have a genetic predisposition towards girlish breasts for reasons that remain undiscovered. Most afflicted males "suffer in silence," says Jacobs, and "don't talk about it." Masculine problem boobs vary from puffy, protruding nipples to extremely buxom cases of C or D cups. Unwanted male teat tissue has been removed in primitive surgical operations for many years, with "big cuts that shell out the tissue and leave the chest disfigured and concave," says Jacobs. Now, modified liposuction can eliminate gynecomastia far more gracefully, claims the Park Avenue physician, who offers male breast removal for $4,000-$6,000. Small, 1/4-inch to 1-inch incisions at the edge of the areola or in the armpit allow the fat vacuum to slurp out the bitch tit tissue, leaving a "nice, smooth contoured area," Jacobs promises. How unfair, I huff! String-bean sissies like me relish the vision of muscle men forced to wear lacey brassieres; that seems like appropriate punishment for their beefcake vanity. salon.com | Dec. 20, 1999