B  Y    R  I  C  H  A  R  D    L  E  D  E  R  E  R

the story behind the word inaugurate is an intriguing one. It literally means "to take omens from the flight of birds." In ancient Rome, augurs would predict the outcome of an enterprise by the way the birds were flying. These soothsayer-magicians would tell a general whether or not to march or do battle by the formations of the birds on the wing. They might even catch one and cut it open to observe its entrails for omens. Nowadays, presidential candidates use their inauguration speeches to take flight on an updraft of words, rather than birds — and they do often spill their guts for all to see. It all began with George Washington, whose first inaugural began this way: "Among the vicissitudes incident to the life no event could have filled me with greater anxieties than that of which the notification was transmitted by your order, and received on the 14th day of the present month. On the one hand, I was summoned by my country, whose voice I can never hear but with veneration and love, from a retreat which I had chosen with the fondest predilection, and, in my flattering hopes, with an immutable decision, as the asylum of my declining years." The shortest inauguration speech of all American presidents, only 133 words, was delivered by George Washington at his second inaugural on March 4, 1793. The longest inauguration address, delivered by William Henry Harrison March 4, 1841, contained 8,443 words. Washington's speech lasted about two minutes; Harrison's speech took about an hour and 40 minutes to deliver. The fact that the longest speech preceded the shortest presidential term in American history was no coincidence. Harrison delivered his message outdoors, on the east portico of the Capitol. In spite of the cold and stormy day, Harrison refused to wear a hat or coat. He caught a cold that developed into pneumonia, from which he died in the White House on April 4, 1841, a scant 31 days after he had been sworn in. Moral: Wear your galoshes and keep your speeches short. Take note, Bill Clinton: Your first inaugural was the third shortest in history, but you are planning a much longer address this time around. Please bundle up. Now, here are statements culled from the inaugural addresses of some 20th-century American presidents. Identify each speaker. 1. Justice and generosity in a nation, as in an individual, count most when shown not by the weak but by the strong. 2. We are provincials no longer. The tragic events of the 30 months of vital turmoil through which we have just passed have made us citizens of the world. There can be no turning back. Our own fortunes as a nation are involved whether we would have it so or not. 3. The method of raising revenue ought not to impede the transaction of business; it ought to encourage it. I am opposed to extremely high rates, because they produce little or no revenue, because they are bad for the country, and because they are wrong. 4. There would be little traffic in illegal liquor if only criminals patronized it. We must awake to the fact that this patronage from large numbers of law-abiding citizens is supplying the rewards and stimulating crime. 5. First of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. 6. The United States and other like-minded nations find themselves directly opposed by a regime with contrary aims and a totally different concept of life. That regime adheres to a false philosophy which purports to offer freedom, security and greater opportunity to mankind. Misled by this philosophy, many peoples have sacrificed their liberties only to learn to their sorrow that deceit and mockery, poverty and tyranny, are their reward. That false philosophy is communism. 7. And so, my fellow Americans: Ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country. 8. I do not believe that the Great Society is the ordered, changeless and sterile battalion of the ants. It is the excitement of becoming — always becoming, trying, probing, falling, resting and trying again — but always trying and always gaining. 9. At every turn, we have been beset by those who find everything wrong with America and little that is right. But I am confident that this will not be the judgment of history on these remarkable times in which we are privileged to live. 10. Now, so there will be no misunderstanding, it's not my intention to do away with government. It is rather to make it work with us, not over us; to stand by our side, not ride on our back. Government can and must provide opportunity, not smother it; foster productivity, not stifle it. Answers 1. Theodore Roosevelt 2. Woodrow Wilson 3. Calvin Coolidge 4. Herbert Hoover 5. Franklin D. Roosevelt 6. Harry S Truman 7. John F. Kennedy 8. Lyndon B. Johnson 9. Richard M. Nixon 10. Ronald Reagan Here's the Verbivore's Challenge. The first reader to submit the correct answer will receive a $25 gift certificate from Borders Books and Music. Which inaugural address was the second shortest in history, after Washington's second? Please enter your full name Please enter your email address Is your answer filled in? If yes, press the SUBMIT button below. This quickly sends your answer back to SALON. There is no need to press this button twice. The winner of the last Verbivore was Wendy Thrash, who was the first to correctly answer the following questions: December 25 is the traditional birth date of Jesus of Nazareth. Using the initials and cryptic descriptors below, identify each of the following luminaries also born on Christmas day: 1. CB: She nursed an organization into existence. Answer: Clara Barton, Civil War nurse and founder of the American Red Cross 2. RR: A truly amazing cartoonist. Answer: Robert Ripley, creator of "Believe It or Not" 3. RS: Do-do-do-do, ME x 6. Answer: Rod Serling, screenwriter and host for "The Twilight Zone"and winner of six Emmy (ME) Awards 4. RH: The most accomplished of all base crooks. Answer: Ricky Henderson, single-season and all-time base-stealing leader 5. LC: A perfect season for Dolphins. Answer: Larry Czonka, fullback who led the Miami Dolphins to a perfect season and Super Bowl victory Language expert Richard Lederer's latest book is "Fractured English" (Pocket Books). He comments on language for National Public Radio and other radio stations and is the Grammar Grappler for Writer's Digest. He can be reached at rlederer@tiac.net. Visit the newly-erected Verbivore Web site at http://www.tiac.net/users/rlederer/index.htm

---