CLASSICAL MUSIC: R.I.P.? page 2 of 8
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Dear Sarah, Thanks for your letter, which I enjoyed so much more than that tedious book. The only thing that compelled me to keep turning Lebrecht's turgid pages was the sex. Conductors masturbating their underage players, prepubescent violin prodigies running around in wet T-shirts, Isaac Stern running out on his wife -- Lebrecht makes the music business sound like much more fun than it actually is, at least according to my sources. Sarah, isn't this a strange assignment? I feel like we're on a blind date set up by our parents, except instead of going out to dinner and a movie we're supposed to fight. The trouble is that after reading over your letter a couple of times, I realized I totally agreed with you! Classical music has had it. However much we may have liked it at one time, the healthy thing to do is face reality, give the tradition a decent burial and a glowing obit, and move on to the next thing, which, as you rightly suggest, is rock 'n' roll. But before we move MTV into Lincoln Center and make Courtney Love the dean of the Juilliard School, there are just a few practical difficulties, which I'm sure we can iron out in this correspondence. The first is that I'm not exactly sure how rock is going to fill the void (however small) left by "serious art music." It's probably not realistic to expect seriousness of "anyone-can-do-it, sex-symbol-charged, hit-parade rock 'n' roll." But we could do without seriousness, which is overrated in art as in life. As to whether rock is either art or music, I remain agnostic. But I did have a small epiphany on the subject the other day when I listened, on your recommendation, to Sleater-Kinney's new album "Dig Me Out." I had such a visceral reaction to this disc! A few measures into the first track, I was compelled to approach my wardrobe, where, sort of bobbing my head back and forth to the beat, I found myself fingering my clothes, inspecting them and pushing the hangers to the side one by one. Only when I had gone twice through all my clothes did I realize that I was listening to the perfect commercial lubricant for thrift store shopping! It's frenetic enough to speed the process of going through all those racks and messy enough to make you more tolerant of whatever tears or stains you find in the garments. I'm not saying that rock is good only for thrift store background. For long-distance road trips I recommend Throwing Muses. For casual sex, Cocteau Twins. For cocktail parties not rock but cocktail music, Combustible Edison. For shakin' your booty, Prince. For smoking reefer (duh), Pink Floyd. So I guess my point is that everything has its place, and I'm just a little worried that Sleater-Kinney isn't going to work so well in Carnegie. Although I suppose we could move the coat check into the hall ... Anxious to know how you think we should proceed, Yours sincerely,
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DETAIL OF ILLUSTRATION BY KATHERINE STREETER
