_______________GETTING WISE TO "BABYWISE" BY KATIE ALLISON GRANJU (08/06/98)

I help mothers and babies who experience breast-feeding problems. Some of the parents of babies who were not thriving were following the Ezzo program, so I recently purchased a copy to read for myself what the authors had to say. I was appalled at the consistent themes of coercion and control over helpless babies' behavior. The "science" that supposedly justifies the philosophy is dangerously flawed and directly contradicts at least four decades of legitimate research. In my opinion, trying to force someone to eat, play and sleep on a schedule is manipulation of the worst kind. The more helpless the subject of the manipulation, the greater the potential trauma to that individual. Since babies are trying to double their weight in about five months and the infant stomach is about the size of a golf ball, it should be obvious that frequent feeding on the baby's cues is critical. Furthermore, the baby only has about one-fourth of its full brain capacity at birth and grows another 25 percent in the first six months. By one year, the brain is two-thirds developed, and by three years it's up to about 80 percent of adult size. This is a one-time opportunity when the proper amount and kind of nutrients, stroking and touching and carrying the baby actually are building the permanent structure of the neurons. Research shows that any starvation at this time can permanently damage the child. Also, either lifelong patterns of trust are developed, or a pattern of distrust is permanently carved into the neurological pathways. In my opinion, the "philosophy" put forth by the authors of "Babywise" is cruel, heartless and downright mean. I shudder to think of the level of rage that has been hard-wired in the children who emerge from this kind of "program." -- Linda J. Smith Dayton, Ohio I found Katie Allison Granju's article, "Getting wise to 'Babywise,'" interesting and well written. However, I am mystified by the subtitle: "Do parents who buy the controversial baby-care book know about its conservative Christian agenda?" I read the article and wondered why this was used. When do the teachings of one group become the "conservative Christian agenda"? Especially when the group's views are openly called into question by other mainstream Christian organizations, including Growing Families International's parent church. What seemed a balanced and well-researched investigation of GFI's hazardous teachings is tarred by a sensationalist subtitle that the author does not seem to support or define. Let's face it: "Agendas" spice up any story. Your readers and Ms. Granju's piece deserve better. -- Russell Hoffman I am a Christian mother who implemented the "Babywise" methods for my 6-month-old daughter. It worked wonderfully. I breast-fed her while using these methods, and she is thriving. I do not allow her to cry till she is bleeding, nor is that suggested in the book. She is healthy and happy and very content. I do check on her if she is crying at night. I do feed her when she is hungry. What parent would let their child starve? If a parent follows any parenting method without thinking it through and evaluating its effectiveness, is that the fault of the proponent of the parenting method? Hardly. Anyone who allows themselves to be blindly guided by any "authority" on any given subject is not using the brain they were given. "Babywise" worked for us. If it doesn't work for you, don't use it. -- Michelle Shaver Babywise makes perfect sense for a conservative movement that wants easily regimented people totally incapable of empathy for others. -- Bill Faulk As a progressive Christian and mother of a 10-month-old boy, I can't begin to tell you how depressed I am by your excellent article on the "Babywise" movement. It's horrible enough that the "Babywise" idiots are successfully advocating child abuse, including semi-starvation, to credulous young parents. It's equally horrible, to me, that all this hateful "advice" is being promoted under the guise of Christianity. It shouldn't surprise me, given all the other rotten ideas American fundamentalists have been promoting as "the word of God" in recent years, but it distresses me mightily to see people twisting my religion of love and understanding into something closer to outright fascism. The "Babywise" people note that God let the (adult) Jesus cry out on the cross; do they really think that means Mary didn't hold and feed Jesus when He was a baby? While I think the "attachment parenting" folks sometimes go too far in the other direction, at least they're acting from love instead of from self-righteousness. Discipline is essential for young children, but real discipline is about teaching, not about punishment. Good parents teach their children to develop their own consciences, rather than imposing a lot of rigid, cruel rules on helpless infants who cannot possibly understand what those rules are, much less live up to them. -- Helen Graves New York Thank you for your very informative article on "Babywise." Hopefully, fewer parents will be conned into putting their babies through this dangerous program. I often work with these babies as they move toward failure-to-thrive status. Very rarely are we able to save the breast-feeding. The supply is often too damaged by infrequent feeding by the time I see them at 3-5 months. . -- Linda L. Pohl, IBCLC BESTFed Nursing Mom's Resource Center Phoenix, Ariz. I am a 42-year-old father of two children, ages 6 and 8. My wife and I took the Ezzo training before the birth of our second child. Having not used his methods with our first child, I can attest that the difference when using Ezzo's teachings is incredible. I am infinitely convinced of the benefits of using Ezzo's methods. It's good common sense and it works. A new child should be considered a welcome member to a family, not the center of its universe. The husband-wife relationship should be the priority relationship, under the auspices of which a healthy, loving family can grow. Whoever wrote this article should have interviewed people like myself who represent the majority of people who have had success with the Ezzo's teachings. A child who has been brought up this way is a joy to be around. The spoiled brats who are being spawned form the liberal, humanist households are disrespectful holy terrors. -- Randy Jones Thank you for an excellent article on the Ezzo program, "Babywise." Katie Allison Granju did an outstanding job of exposing this program for the ill it causes. As a health-care professional who has had clients using this program, I've seen babies barely get by and others who truly fail to thrive. Parents mean well, and have their infant's well-being and best interests at heart, but they are so misled by this so-called child expert who refuses to give research to back his claims. I am, however, disappointed that the only link you have with Borders is to order the Ezzo book. How about all the other experts quoted and their excellent texts? Dr. Sears has written multiple books on infants and breast-feeding. Kathleen Auerbach has written an excellent professional textbook, now in its second edition, and each of the other experts has been published. Your link seems to indicate that you are promoting the Ezzo book; hopefully that is not the case. In order to make an informed decision, parents must be given all the information to study. Promoting one parenting method over all others, especially one that is currently in question among health-care professionals, is not a wise decision. -- Kathy Parkes, RN, IBCLC Owner, The Lactation Connection (TCL) San Antonio, Texas I must admit I am shocked and frightened that anyone (the Ezzos) has suggested that parents treat their infants the way Granju described. Have we not learned from the horrible mistakes of the past? I fought current thinking to mother my children à la the attachment parenting style in the '70s. I can proudly say that my three kids (now 28, 26 and 22) are loving, secure, sensitive young professionals who are independent and very family-oriented. I heard a physician say (a long time ago), "If you baby a baby when he's a baby ... you won't have to baby him the rest of his life." The trust our children have in the future begins in the loving arms of their parents today! -- Susan E. Wirtjes, RN, IBCLC Waterloo, Iowa My wife and I have been implementing many of the principles found in Ezzo's materials for more than eight years with great success. We have happy, well-"bonded" children with no rebellion as feared by some of the experts cited in your article. Our friends who practice the attachment-style parenting as suggested by Dr. Sears have indeed experienced many of the symptoms he fears will happen to those who follow Ezzo's teachings. If failure to thrive (FTT) babies are thought to happen only in families that apply the "Babywise" program, then someone has not researched the many cases reported to discover the multitude of reasons for FTT babies. -- Daniel Parker Fayetteville, N.C. As a concerned Christian mother and grandmother, I was so pleased to see your positive article pro attachment parenting and anti-"Babywise." I do not believe God intended for us to ignore the precious lives he places in our care. I always tell moms that is why our elbows bend where they do, to hold a baby "just right." Being held and comforted makes us secure and confident human beings. I'm sorry Mr. Ezzo's mom didn't hold him enough or he would have grown up to be a caring parent instead of a controlling parent. -- Patricia Young SALON | Aug. 17, 1998

R E C E N T L Y+| SWINGING WITH THE SODOMITES BY CAMILLE PAGLIA

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