TODAY

Drama Queen candidates
Time bandits

Contestant No. 1
Contestant No. 2
Contestant No. 3

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ARCHIVES

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Mamafesto
By Camille Peri
Why it's time
for Mothers Who Think

[ CONTESTANT No. 2 ]

NOW THAT'S ENTERTAINING
By Marie Goldenberg
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So we invited friends over for dinner last night, to arrive at 5:30 p.m. Ten minutes before they're supposed to arrive almost everything is ready -- the cake, the side dish and the chicken, which is simmering in marinade and ready to be grilled. As I'm lighting the grill on the deck, I hear my husband, Simon, shouting through the upstairs window that my son Joey has just gotten sick everywhere! It's too late to call the friends and cancel because they live 20 minutes away and probably have already left. We get Joey changed and cleaned up, and notice he's writhing and crying in apparent pain. So we put in a call to the doctor. Doc's office calls back and asks assorted questions. We decide the pain is probably gas working its way through, so no immediate emergency. We would just follow our usual post-barf protocol and call back if it got worse.

Right then our friends arrive, so we explain the situation and give them the option to head home. They decide not to and we all decide to try to salvage the evening.

Our friend John winds up getting drafted to grill the chicken while his wife, Sharon, holds my baby Sonia for me as I pop upstairs periodically to check on Joey. After a while he is feeling like his old self again, and joins us downstairs.

At dinner, Joey has only crackers and water and then makes a strange burping noise. My husband doesn't think it's so urgent, but I take one look and see that Joey is now wearing That Face. "NOW -- RUN, RUN, HURRY, HURRY," I yell at Simon to get Joey upstairs to the bathroom. Simon grabs Joey -- whose impending disaster terrifies our guests -- and then runs upstairs. He almost makes it to the bathroom. Almost isn't good enough.

Joey feels better again, starts watching a video, and the rest of us finish dinner. After the guests leave, I take baby Sonia to the grocery store to get PediaLyte and a couple of other things.

On the way home, Sonia is fussing and I tell her, "We'll be home in five minutes." Then I start to think about the logistics of getting her and three bags of groceries into the house, but it turns out not be a problem -- I never loaded the groceries into the car. So I turn around and head back.

Thirty minutes later, I get home after my "quick dash" to the store. I give Joey some PediaLyte and he takes one sip and announces "Yuck!" (his new word for the week). He sips some plain water, and is actually OK with taking a little bit every 10 minutes. I get Sonia to bed while my husband looks after Joey, offering water and swapping videos periodically. Joey finally goes to bed at 11 p.m. after we're certain he's had a decent amount of fluid and is unlikely to hurl again.

Of course, Joey was up bright and early at 6:15 this morning and we're absolutely drained. I need a nap!
SALON | Jan. 19, 1998

Contestant No. 1 | Contestant No. 2 | Contestant No. 3 | Vote now!