Salon | Drama Queen for a Day: The best of the worst of what you did

TODAY

Drama Queen candidates
The best of the worst of what you did

Contestant No. 1
Contestant No. 2
Contestant No. 3

Vote now!

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Illustration by Katherine Streeter

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This Month's Drama Queen Candidates:

The best of the worst of what you did

When they were good, they were very, very good. But when our three candidates were bad, they were awful.

One of the editors of Mothers Who Think -- who prefers not to be humiliated by name -- was once sitting in the office of a therapist, shredding soggy Kleenex at an accelerated pace over the misdeeds of a dastardly loved one. "Maybe what you need," the therapist gently suggested, "is not to just feel hurt, but to feel angry ..."

This sage advice, after a scant moment's thoughtful consideration from the aforementioned editor, brought forth an unprecedented tirade of torture fantasies and vituperative machinations. Bubbling up to the surface oozed all sorts of delicious and painful scenarios: public confrontations complete with fisticuffs, hidden cameras, six-figure book deals for memoirs with characters identified only by initial, anonymous tips to the IRS, runaway dry cleaning vans crossing fateful intersections at just the right moment. As she gleefully spun out all the bloody possibilities, the editor's therapist began to look a little concerned. "These are all, uh, fantasies, right?" the therapist asked, nervously fingering her memo pad and almost imperceptibly recoiling. "You're not really going to ... do any of this stuff, are you?"

Most of the best bad things we'd like to do never actually get done, and that's a good thing. But sometimes the best bad things get done by other people, and that's even better. The rest of us can breathe a sigh of relief that only this month's three drama queen candidates have to wrestle with the conscience-scarring actions that follow. Don't forget to vote for the best worst thing -- our new queen wins not only a special prize but also the chance to take part in a little dry cleaning expedition ...

Contestant No. 1 | Contestant No. 2 | Contestant No. 3 | Vote now!

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ILLUSTRATION BY KATHERINE STREETER