- - - - - - - - - -

A L S O++T O D A Y

Family myths, family realities
By Stephanie Coontz
A string of lurid cases this year drew attention away from the real challenges that confront American families

The Abandoned Newborn
A poem by Sharon Olds

- - - - - - - - - -

T A B L E++T A L K

What is the perfect family vehicle? Join mothers who shop for cars in Table Talk

- - - - - - - - - -

R E C E N T L Y

I'll be home for sushi
By Debra Ollivier
An expatriate longs for the ersatz holiday spirit of her Los Angeles childhood
(12/22/97)

Catholic school bad girl
By Joan Walsh
Why was I the only one at my grammar school reunion who didn't remember me as a bully?
(12/19/97)

Word by word
By Anne Lamott
When everything in your life goes wrong at once, something big and lovely is about to get born
(12/18/97)

Hot flash
By Ros Davidson
Irradiating America's meat to make it safe is like destroying the village in order to save it, says an activist
(12/17/97)

Time for one thing
By Kate Moses
Getting sick
(12/16/97)

ARCHIVES

- - - - - - - - - -

Mamafesto
By Camille Peri
Why it's time
for Mothers Who Think

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

AND ON THE EIGHTH DAY, GOD CREATED FERTILITY DRUGS

When we're not obsessing over how many diapers Bobbi and Kenny McCaughey will change in the next three years and what year it will be when Bobbi gets a full night's sleep, we're astounded and exhilarated, like everyone else, by the story of the Iowa septuplets. But didn't anyone catch the irony in the "miracle" birth? The McCaugheys, devout Baptists who oppose abortion, "trusted in the Lord" that all seven children would be born healthy -- but when it came to conceiving, they put their trust in science.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THE FACE THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND TRADEMARKS

Four months after Princess Diana's death, lawyers for the Princess Diana Memorial Fund applied to register her face with the British patent office. The application seeks to stop the flood of unauthorized souvenirs bearing Diana's likeness and to ensure that royalties from the use of her image go to her estate. Shame on you for ordering that Diana doll from the back of Parade magazine.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

WHAT IF THEY GAVE A MILLION WOMEN MARCH AND ONLY 500,000 WOMEN SHOWED UP?

Though October's Million Women March in Philadelphia aimed at empowering black women who feel overwhelmed by issues such as family disintegration, homelessness and economic disadvantage, many of the potential participants may have been simply too overwhelmed to attend. "Women have more responsibilities than men," Wanda Cunningham, the march's Southern region executive director, told the New York Times. "Men could just pick up and drive. They don't have to worry about the distance, the car breaking down or who's going to look after the kids."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

MOTHERHOOD IS A BREEZE!

At least according to mothers quoted in a People magazine cover story, "Moms for the First Time":

"At night he'd rub cocoa butter all over me to prevent stretch marks."
-- Debbe Dunning, of the TV show "Home Improvement," on how helpful her husband was during pregnancy.

"Motherhood is intense."
-- "Baywatch" babe Gena Lee Nolin.

"Some people get depressed after they give birth ... but I only got happy hormones."
-- Tracey Gold, former star of "Growing Pains."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

MY OWN PRIVATE GENERATION NEXT

"I'm not leaving because my children need more of me; I'm leaving because I need more of them."
-- Brenda Barnes, former president and chief executive of PepsiCo's North American division, on her decision to resign her post. Quoted in Time.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING AT 10:52 EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT

Having sex, of course. But you're not, so do the next best thing: Tune in to the last few minutes of "NYPD Blue" and see Jimmy Smits' glistening brown butt -- from angles you would not believe if we told you -- as he and co-star Kim Delaney burn like dying stars into each other's sweatily astonished souls during their weekly rut. It looks more real than any sex you've ever had, and you can get the laundry folded at the same time.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I'LL BE HOMELESS FOR CHRISTMAS

Five months into Idaho's welfare "reform" experiment, the number of single mothers on the dole decreased by 70 percent -- and, just in time for the holidays, lines at soup kitchens began "stretching into the streets," according to a New York Times report this month.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A MOTHER WHOSE EXAMPLE WE CAN'T FORGET

In 1965 Betty Shabazz saw her husband, Malcolm X, gunned down, then shielded her children from further gunfire with her own pregnant body. A widow at the age of 28, Shabazz went on to raise six children alone while continuing her husband's civil rights work. In June, Shabazz was killed when the son of her troubled daughter, Qubilah, set fire to the house where he was living with his grandmother. Found in the house with third-degree burns over 80 percent of her body, Shabazz's last words were a request to get her grandson to safety.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

ONE CREEPY DAD

Like father, like son? In one photo in Life magazine's bizarre December cover story, "Michael & Son: At Home with the King of Pop and His Baby," Michael Jackson's 9-month-old child, Prince, wears a tiny sequined mitten just like his father's sequined glove. Prince, whom Michael calls Baby Doo-Doo, lives with his father and two uniformed nurses at Jackson's Neverland Valley ranch near Santa Barbara, Calif., and in a castle in France. Noticeably absent from the 10-page spread is Baby Doo-Doo's mother, Debbie Rowe, who met Jackson when she was working as a medical assistant in his plastic surgeon's office. Rowe continues to live in a one-bedroom apartment two hours away. "I don't need to be there," Rowe is quoted as saying in the article. "It's not my duty. I'd have nothing to do."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

ONE COOL DAD

It was a classic "time bind" photo: harried parent on phone at desk, one arm strapped around a baby poised to stamp a business paper with its jammy little hand, the other stretching for a stack of papers precipitously close to toppling to the floor. The new twist: The parent was not a mother but a father, and the father was the nation's top G-man, FBI Director Louis Freeh. Was the picture, which appeared in a November article on Freeh in the New York Times Magazine, just a photo op -- a slicked-up version of the old shots of John-John playing at JFK's feet in the Oval Office? Or could Freeh be the man who will make child care macho? According to his secretaries (who are sometimes called upon to help with diapers and feedings), it's not uncommon to find the FBI chief wrestling with any number of his five children (a sixth is on the way) while he works.

N E X T+P A G E: Martha Stewart meets the Unabomber