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D R A M A++Q U E E N

Did your best friend steal your boyfriend? Send your tale to Drama Queen for a Day

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T A B L E++T A L K

DREAMS OF BILL: A COLLECTION OF FUNNY, STRANGE AND DOWNRIGHT PECULIAR DREAMS ABOUT OUR PRESIDENT, BILL CLINTON | EDITED BY JULIA ANDERSON-MILLER AND BRUCE JOSHUA MILLER | CAROL PUBLISHING GROUP, 217 PAGES

When Julian Anderson-Miller and Bruce Joshua Miller began asking Americans to divulge their dreams about President Clinton, they knew they were onto something -- but they couldn't have imagined how much. Now their 1994 book "Dreams of Bill," an enigmatic collection of somnolent fantasies about the president, seems eerily prescient. The collection -- from hundreds of ordinary citizens, mostly female -- shows that long before Monica Lewinsky talked of trying out her "presidential kneepads" on Clinton, other American women had been there, done that in their dreams, and were more than happy to go on the record about it.

The genesis of the book was Anderson-Miller's dream that while she was working at her computer, the president appeared and began massaging her neck. The dream felt so real -- not only did her neck feel better after she woke up, but she could recall the sea-breeze scent of his after-shave -- she was convinced others must be dreaming of Bill too. So she and her husband ran classified ads around the country and began playing the part of sympathetic friend, recording breathless kisses and heart-stopping glances. Among the hundreds of recollections included, many are garden-variety dream scenarios in which the president shows up at McDonald's, jogs with the dreamer or consults on foreign policy. But there are also quite a few romantic dreams of Bill -- and, curiously, a handful of dreams from new mothers, who attend cabinet meetings in their nightgowns and accept the president's compliments on recovering their prepregnancy figures.

If the snatches of dreamscape shed any light on current events, it is that sexual encounters with the president may be best in fantasy. None of the women report feeling sexually harassed or taken advantage of -- indeed, the only regrets come from a woman who turned Bill down only to become infuriated with herself for missing the opportunity to have an affair with the president. Those who indulged their fantasies, on the other hand, were often left with a glowing warmth that lasted long after the dream ended. And according to the authors, some said the dreams were so vivid, "They thought it might actually have happened, or might come true."

-- Camille Peri

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I dreamed candidate Bill Clinton was visiting our area, and I was responsible for driving him to his quarters (a large private house) for the night. We were having a warm and friendly conversation as I pulled the car up in a circular gravel drive. We got out of the car and walked to the door of the house, where a nightlight shone.

I said, "I've never kissed a candidate before. Would you mind if I kissed you?" I was aware that this was terribly bold, but I was much taken with him.

He threw back his head and laughed, saying, "Not at all!" And he embraced me in a great, warm bear-hug and kissed me on the mouth -- a long, soul-melting kiss that was delightful. (It was a kiss so satisfying and real that I remembered every detail and feel of it on awakening.) We both laughed and went into the house, where I introduced him to a crowd of people in a wide foyer.

It turned out I was also staying there, so I soon went to my room, undressed, got into bed, and began reading with the lights on. Bill sort of wandered in wearing only his shorts and said there didn't seem to be any bed for him and could he share mine? I said, half alarmed and half sexily, "Well, why not?" He got in and we worked the New York Times crossword puzzle!

Then my son walked in carrying his baseball mitt and a ball. (My son was not his present age, but about ten, his age when he followed the election of JFK with great interest and wrote Kennedy a letter congratulating him on becoming President.) He said he wanted to meet Bill, too. The obliging Bill hopped out of bed and played catch and did high fives with him.

-- J.D.W. (Female), Retired Advertising Executive
Age: 69
Boulder, Colorado

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In my dream, I woke up coughing late at night, and I was in a strange bed: a high, large, Queen Anne-style, four-poster bed. It was a very ornate room, and the clock said 2:30 a.m. I turned to my right and there was a woman lying next to me that I had never seen before, and lying next to her was a man reading with an Itty Bitty Book Light. I got out of bed and went over to his side, and was shocked to see it was Bill Clinton!

I said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I hope my coughing didn't wake you."

He replied, "It's no problem, I'm always awake reading at this time."

I said, "What are you and I doing here, and who is that woman?"

He said, "Oh, this is part of my Getting to Know America Plan. I am going to sleep with two different people each night of my presidency."

With that I congratulated him on his victory, and then I left what turned out to be the Lincoln Bedroom.

-- J.A. (Female), Nurse/Anesthesia
Age: 36
Lincolnshire, Illinois

N E X T+P A G E: Goosed by the prez