- - - - - - - - - -

T A B L E++T A L K

Why are college costs so high? Complain about tuition costs in the Money area of Table Talk

- - - - - - - - - -

R E C E N T L Y

The water lilies look splotchy up close
By Polly Shulman
The artist is the hero in these sensuous children's books
(04/07/98)

The fun police
By Diane Lore
Being your kid's killjoy isn't as fun as it's cracked up to be
(04/06/98)

Women beware women
By Katie Roiphe
Our ongoing national catfight has revealed an unpleasant truth: Women have always betrayed each other
(04/03/98)

Second Thoughts: Nice Guys
By Sallie Tisdale
In the wake of the Arkansas schoolyard killings, a mother ponders guns, children, and the adults who bring them together
(04/02/98)

Straight-laced sisters
By Lori Leibovich
Liberal journalist Elinor Burkett met the enemy -- conservative women -- and found that they were, well, a lot like her
(04/01/98)

ARCHIVES

- - - - - - - - - -

Mamafesto
By Camille Peri
Why it's time
for Mothers Who Think

- - - - - - - - - -

DEAR DAUGHTER: GO TO JAIL. LOVE, MOM | PAGE 2 OF 2

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Barbara Ledeen, executive director for policy of the Independent Women's Forum, a Washington, D.C., organization that promotes individual responsibility and strong families, laughed out loud at the suggestion that Starr's actions violated the sanctity of the family. She recalled that her family's personal records were subpoenaed by a grand jury during the Iran-contra affair because her husband, Michael, was a consultant to the National Security Council during the Reagan administration. "Then, no one could be bothered to hear about it," Ledeen said. "This is standard prosecutorial conduct. It's too bad if they don't like it."

Barbara Olson, a former prosecutor and a member of the Independent Women's Forum national advisory board, agreed that the public has been pretty fickle on the issue. "No one said anything when Paula's [Jones] mother and sister were called in by the president's lawyers," she pointed out.

Although the law protects spouses against being compelled to testify against each other, Kellyanne Fitzpatrick, a political commentator for CNN and president of the Polling Company, a political consulting firm in Washington, D.C., says the parent-child relationship should not be afforded the same protection. "We tend to let the emotional arguments overcome the pursuit of justice," said Fitzpatrick. "The law doesn't recognize privileges for mothers or confidantes, and I think that is good because privileges should be narrowly prescribed. I understand that it is unsavory, but it is not unseemly."

Yet most of the pro-family advocates interviewed didn't seem to find the idea of a mother being forced to reveal details of a private conversation with her daughter particularly unsavory -- in this case, at least. Rather, they disapproved of the relationship between Lewinsky and Lewis -- one in which, in their view, the mother played the role of a girlfriend while the daughter confided in her about her sexual relationships and sought her advice.

"This relationship -- in which the daughter is basically bragging about her sexual exploits with a powerful man -- seems to me to be very perverse," said Linda Chavez, a syndicated columnist and president of the Center for Equal Opportunity, a think tank "devoted exclusively to the promotion of colorblind equal opportunity and racial harmony." "I cannot imagine such a conversation with my mother. I can't imagine one of my adult children having such a conversation with me. If everything on those tapes is accurate ... you sort of wonder where [Lewis'] motherly instinct was when her daughter was telling her of this relationship."

Olson was equally critical of Lewis' parenting style. "One aspect of this that troubles me is, are you teaching your daughter not to abide by the law?" she said. "It's her responsibility as a citizen to go before the grand jury and tell them what she knows. But the mother is not doing this and instead is making a big deal and crying and upset -- well, I would be upset for a whole lot of reasons, and the grand jury would be the least of them if it was my daughter."

The plight of Lewinsky's mother failed to arouse sympathy even among the mothers interviewed. Chavez said she would feel "a lot more sympathetic to Mrs. Lewis if she had played a somewhat different role -- if she had said to her daughter, 'This isn't good for you, the guy is a louse.'" Instead, Chavez said her heart went out to Lewis' daughter. "I think she is a very, very sad girl. She's looking for a mom and she ends up with Linda Tripp. She's looking for a dad and she ends up with Bill Clinton. This seems like a girl looking for love in all the wrong places."

So when a daughter goes to her mother with a problem, should the mother first consider whether their conversation will be protected by legal privilege? The Christian Coalition's Owens said that was simply not an issue. "Responsible parents would work in tandem with law enforcement to ensure that laws are upheld because no man or woman in this nation is above the law. Parents should reinforce the law."
SALON | April 8, 1998

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -