A L S O_ T O D A Y

Star quality
By Debra Ollivier
Just as its author predicted, nothing in the universe can be the same for those who love "The Little Prince" -- but why?

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T A B L E_T A L K

Are you raising your grandchildren? How did that come about? Join the discussion in Table Talk's Mothers area

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Search BarnesandNoble.com for more about Hillary Clinton
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R E C E N T L Y

Airstrikes of mercy
By Geraldine Brooks
A former Middle East correspondent explains how Saddam Hussein turned her from a pacifist into a hawk
(12/21/98)

Second Thoughts: Rolling out the years
By Sallie Tisdale
No one has time to bake cookies. That's why you need to
(12/17/98)

Marriage among the mullahs
By Cynthia Joyce
The directors of "Divorce Iranian Style" speak out about unhappy marriages, Islamic law and the rights of women
(12/16/98)

The devil in your family room
By Fiona Morgan
A Texas group is offering "Marilyn Manson awareness training" for parents who fear for their subculture-adopting teens
(12/15/98)

The prisoner of Pennsylvania Avenue
By Margaret Talbot
The many ordeals of Hillary Clinton should make us ask: Is it time to retire the concept of the first lady?
(12/14/98)

BROWSE THE MOTHERS WHO THINK FEATURE ARCHIVES

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Mamafesto
By Camille Peri
Why it's time
for Mothers Who Think

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FOREVER YOUNG | PAGE 1, 2
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Somebody else would probably be most appalled by the ultra-femme Twinn Nora chose, but that somehow made it more palatable to me. I like the idea that she's playing with femininity, trying to picture herself as a "real" girl. Tall and sturdy and full of herself, she'll have to fight to feel like a girl as she gets older and realizes girl equals small and fragile and deferential. (Trust me; I'm 5-foot-11.) In fact, this seems part of her conscious motive in asking for My Twinn.

"I don't have many girly-girl things," she told me shyly when I asked her why she wanted it. (I didn't remind her about the stash of hand-me-down makeup she plays with secretly.) "I think it would be good for me." Then she regained her trademark defiance. "But do I really need to have a reason, Mom?"

No.

So I bought the JonBenet Ramsey model, with the matching cranberry dress for Nora. When it arrived at my office three weeks later, I couldn't resist a peek. Co-workers gathered around as I opened the box, which looked disturbingly like a little coffin. The doll's face was swathed in pink tissue paper, a little like after a facelift, somebody said. I unwrapped the tissue to find a golden-haired, green-eyed, generic doll that looked nothing like Nora. Or maybe, since the coloring was right, it looked like Nora might after cosmetic surgery, with the baby fat liposucked from her cheeks and her nose perfectly tailored. Or Nora after a debutant makeover -- they'd pulled her unruly hair back from her face, even though it was hanging loose in the photo of her we had sent them. My co-workers gasped. "Nora is so much prettier," everyone insisted, and I certainly agreed. We probably could have found a doll that looked more like her just shopping among the prefab selections at Toys 'R' Us.

I was going to send My Twinn back, though I'd lose $25 on the order, which is probably all the doll actually costs to make. But since Nora had her heart set on it as her one Christmas present, I decided I had to show it to her, so she'd know how far the Twinn fell short of what was promised. I took her to my office one Saturday morning and warned her about what she was about to see. But when I opened the box -- the horror, the horror -- she fell in love.

"I don't have anything this pretty, Mommy," she swooned. "Actually, she kind of looks like me, don't you think?"

I told her no, that actually I thought she was prettier, and Nora got indignant. "Since when does it matter who's prettier?" she asked, appalled at my sudden concern with appearances and surface beauty. I agreed to take the doll home and think about it. That afternoon my best friend came over and Nora enlisted her in a campaign to keep the doll. She put on the cranberry velour dress and Debbie pulled back Nora's hair just like her Twinn's. I had to admit I could see some resemblance. She stood there holding her doll, willing her features to mirror the Twinn's placid, WASPy beauty, a pleading look in her eyes. And I could see everything she wanted in that look: a sister, a twin, conventional beauty, eternal childhood, her mother's approval. I gave in. Nora hugged me, then tore off her cranberry dress and put on her jeans, and began tugging at the Twinn's hair ribbons, trying to mess up her debutant hairdo. I rescued the Twinn and put her back in her box under the Christmas tree, where she'll have to wait a few more days for her Nora makeover.
SALON | Dec. 22, 1998