D R A M A_ Q U E E N

This won't hurt a bit! Ever been brought to tears while lying on your back with your legs open in front of a stange doctor? Share your tales of gynecological woe in Drama Queen for a Day contest.

- - - - - - - - - -

T A B L E_ T A L K

How do you create your own family-friendly work environment? Discuss working from home and other options in the Mothers area of Table Talk

- - - - - - - - - -

R E C E N T L Y

Mommy's little accessory
By Dayna Macy
Jo Copeland designed glamorous couture clothes for the rich and famous. But while she was an extraordinary designer, she was a disaster as a mother
(10/21/98)

The worst trip ever
By Susan McCarthy
A sweaty cross-country trek in a 1937 Plymouth with two cranky siblings, a kangaroo rat in a box and a pogo stick turns into family legend
(10/20/98)

Beautiful Dreamer
By Lisa Kleinman
Babies No. 1 and 2 had to suffer through less-than-perfect strollers. But baby No. 3 will have the ideal ride -- that is, if there is a baby No. 3
(10/19/98)

Turtle time
By Anne Lamott
Salon welcomes back Anne Lamott after a six-month hiatus, and she announces she has overcome Linda Tripp, an expanding waistline and her compulsion to keep writing books
(10/15/98)

Time For One Thing: Acupuncture
By Lisa Moskowitz
My muscles relax. My eyes close. There is no real pain, just the apprehension of pain
(10/14/98)

BROWSE THE SECOND THOUGHTS ARCHIVES

- - - - - - - - - -

Salon Columnists

- - - - - - - - - -

Mamafesto
By Camille Peri
Why it's time
for Mothers Who Think

- - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - -

S A L O N
E M P O R I U M
FREE! 12-ounce bag of Salon Blend with a purchase of $30 or more. While supplies last.

Sunday afternoon. There's a special on the history of guns on the History Channel. "How was the dream of rapid-fire ever to be realized?" the commentator asks over a scene of Civil War soldiers desperately stuffing musket balls into their barrels. The cheesy Spanish-language soap opera "Salud, Dinero y Amor" is on. I learn to count to 12 in Japanese, but promptly forget. Today, I am reminded, is Sukkoth, the Jewish celebration of the harvest and the wandering of the tribes. I watch a few minutes of "Baywatch," long enough to see a beautiful, blonde oddly sculptured female lifeguard revived from drowning with no apparent spiritual improvement. The Weather Channel lists airport delays around the country. George Bush is on "Booknotes," and he is fascinatingly boring, describing world-shaking events in a dull nasal monotone. I pass through a documentary on postwar Germany, a Christian eulogy for dead scuba divers, a local broadcast of the city council, duller than Bush.

QVC. Call 1-800-345-1515 to buy the Diamonique Graduated Tennis Earrings in 14K gold with a retail value of $100 at an introductory price of $63.24 in three easy payments of only $21.08 a month.

Today I am soothed by the remote control, by the low demand and the steady change of television, its endless evolution and willingness to admit anything, anything at all. Once upon a time, I didn't own a television. Then I moved into a hippie household guiltily addicted to the NCAA season -- but everyone tuning into "The Rockford Files" on Saturday night, too. And then there was "Dallas." And then color.

And then color begat ESPN.

There's a First Amendment debate on one of the cable-access channels. A nice old western a few channels up, one of those white people fantasies where all the pioneers are clean and smell nice. MTV is running a marathon of "Daria" cartoons. Daria is a smart, nerdy teenage girl. "They say high school is supposed to be the happiest time of your life," a boy tells Daria, and she answers, "Only if your life is incredibly short." In between episodes are brief snatches of the "Virtual Bill Declassified Grand Jury Testimony" and an ad for "Bride of Chucky" ("Chucky Gets Lucky").

TLC has a documentary on South Florida.

It's football on ESPN. Click. The real sport is on the networks. San Diego is ahead of Houston by one run in the third inning. Randy Johnson has a batting average of .091, worse than mine and good God, I can't believe he swung at that. "Randy Johnson has shown he's not particularly enamored of hitting," says the color commentator, just before Johnson strikes out.

ESPN at night. "Sesame Street" in the morning. Big Bird was begat by "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood." My son wrote Mister Rogers a letter once, complimenting him on his sweaters and informing him that his -- my son's -- name was now Frisky. Mister Rogers promptly wrote back and told Frisky he liked him just the way he was.

Then Mister Rogers begat "Hill Street Blues," and "Hill Street Blues" begat "St. Elsewhere" and "St. Elsewhere" begat the VCR.

QVC. Call 1-800-345-1515 for a Diamonique seven-inch Simulated Ruby Tennis Bracelet in 14K gold, retail price of $490, on sale at the introductory price of $299.95 in five easy payments of only $59.99 a month.

"This is October," says the talking head on the Weather Channel, "a transitional and turbulent month."

Two teenage girls show the viewer how to win a video game on one of the cable-access channels, the camera switching from their earnest, clear faces to the computer screen and back. It's like a movie of a film about a video game in a play on television, and the girls are completely at home there.

The History Channel is discussing how the Springfield Rifle led to the Gatling gun.

There were movies to rent, and exercise videos. And a few years ago, "The X-Files." Xena. And now, Buffy.

I love television. I love the ad for a Samsung cellular telephone with voice recognition, so you can say "Frank," and it dials Frank's number. I love the "Virtual Bill Declassified Grand Jury Testimony" jokes. I love the arm-lifting evangelical testimony, the untranslated programs with low production values in Farsi and Korean and Chinese, meant for anyone but me. I love the weird local talk shows where conspiracy theorists and drag queens discuss areas of mutual interest. I love these windows on a world much larger than what I come across in my little daily commutes to store and post office, much larger and more varied than I could possibly experience in one city, one country, one life.

N E X T+P A G E: The great equalization of a world beamed to all of us