Salon Mothers Who Think | Second Thoughts: A sardine's story

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E D I T O R ' S_N O T E

Look for excerpts from Anne Lamott's new book, "Traveling Mercies," on Fridays; Word by Word, Lamott's biweekly Thursday column, will return March 4.

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T A B L E_T A L K

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BROWSE THE SECOND THOUGHTS ARCHIVES

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Mamafesto
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Why it's time
for Mothers Who Think

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[ SECOND THOUGHTS | BY SALLIE TISDALE ]

-----A sardine's story
A picture book that follows the life of a fish, all the way to her death and packaging in a can -- has some grown-ups squirming. Maybe kids need to help them face reality.

---------------"ARLENE SARDINE" | BY CHRIS RASCHKA
-------------------------ORCHARD BOOKS | 40 PAGES

Arlene wanted to be a sardine. But she was only a brisling, a small fish swimming "this way" and then "that way" with her "ten hundred thousand friends" in a fjord. How Arlene achieves her goal -- ending up packed in oil in a can -- is the subject of a whimsical children's book called "Arlene Sardine" that, in its quiet way, has made a lot of adults uncomfortable in a most grown-up way.

Adults tend to talk about, and talk to, children in a variety of inappropriate ways. One is to presume that children and adults are separate species with entirely different priorities and very little in common. While it is certainly true that adults and children each value things the other population largely finds unworthy of concern -- silence, good china, unusual bugs, toilets -- the opposite is also true. Adults and children are both interested to a highly refined degree in food, sex, death, violence, love, entertainment and money.

So why do adults find it so hard to talk about those subjects with children? Why do adults so often seem primarily concerned with being heard and not with hearing? Children think hard and deeply about loss, longing and pain. They notice with considerable attention to detail the ongoing dramas and struggles in the lives of the adults around them. But adults, even the most well-intentioned ones, tend to forget that innocence is not the same thing as ignorance -- and vice versa.

There's "Old Yeller," of course, and "Charlotte's Web," and a few others, but there aren't many good children's books about death. The marvelous fairy tales of the brothers Grimm, gutsy and clearheaded and disturbing, don't find their way into many primary school classrooms these days. The subject tends to bring out the worst kind of sentimental and blindered contemporary storytelling, fraught with angelic fogs and solemn opportunities for moral lessons. Moral questions (rather than lessons) are a great topic for kids. But the kids I know are also really interested in pain, blood, decomposition, weird smells and what happens after you're buried underground.

Chris Raschka, the Caldecott Medal winner and author of books like "Yo? Yes!" and "Mysterious Thelonius," wrote much of Arlene's story years ago, after he and his new wife found themselves working at a children's home on the island of St. Croix. "All our food was donated. One day I was putting this can of sardines away. I saw the label and realized that the fish in the can came from the Sea of Japan." Raschka became curious about how a few tiny fish ended up going almost all the way around the world, across one ocean, to mainland America, and then over more water to the Caribbean.

He and his wife had begun painting in St. Croix. After he wrote to sardine companies for information, Raschka found out there are no "sardines" in the ocean -- since a sardine is, by definition, packed in a tin can. He realized there might be a kids' book in it.

N E X T+P A G E: Simple words and colorful drawings -- about death