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Dear Camille: I would love to debate you about your love for Slimy Willie. I'm a moderate Republican only because they admit they are rich, while the "poor" Dems cry poverty when in fact they are probably richer than the Republicans. They both suck, but a guy who cheats on his wife -- he admitted that, it's one of the few things he did take responsibility for -- is a jackass. Even though I'm a closet Hillary lover, I can't stand Bill. Why do you like him? Bemused 41-year-old male Dear Bemused, In the flickering onscreen world of our Video Age, Bill Clinton is the prince of telegenics -- the science of seeming rather than being. He could only flourish in a historical lull when neither national security nor economic survival is at stake. We would sure be in a pungent pickle and up Shiitake Creek should a real crisis strike -- such as an asteroid hitting the earth or Russia veering back toward Communist militarism. I am a Clinton Democrat because I support his general agenda, which consists of 1960s progressive principles of social justice moderated by a sober realism about the failure and bankruptcy of liberalism. I'm also pleased by the way the Clinton second term is focusing public attention on education, which needs radical reform from elementary through graduate school. Your scorn for men who cheat on their wives is commendable. I myself am monogamous and expect fidelity from my partner. However, I also recognize that some of the greatest figures in art, science and politics have had untidy, omnivorous appetites that may have been directly related to their creativity. Clinton is a strange, compulsive character whose sense of his own masculinity has always been shaky. His ability to communicate with the masses, and to wheedle them into forgiveness of his innumerable ethical lapses, is a function of his shamelessly flirtatious, girlish-boyish charm. He has the infectious, gee-whiz pep of Mickey Rooney and the heavy-lidded, bedroom soulfulness of Robert Wagner. If it is true, as alleged, that when Clinton exposed himself to Paula Jones, he said, "Kiss it," that sums it up. Clinton doesn't really cheat; he just supplements. He wants all women to be his indulgent, doting Mama, petting and pampering him. He even likes the cuffing and spanking when he gets out of line. He'd like to be the only boy at the harem. Hillary is Bill's anchor, oar and rudder. Without her, he'd be working the night shift in Little Rock. But when her high IQ flips on, she's cold as a witch's tit. Clinton roams because he needs to press the flesh, and he looks for it everywhere. Lord, does that man love a funeral! -- the only place he can give women long, lingering embraces without causing a scandal. Politicians belong to the clan of Pontius Pilate, not Mother Theresa. I regard Bill Clinton exactly as I do Pablo Picasso, Jean Genet, Joan Crawford or Keith Richards: as brilliant personalities of major achievement who cannot always be judged by conventional moral standards. Dear Camille: Reading the essays of Jean Cocteau, I am struck by the similarity between his elaborate self-description as a celibate (and history's evidence to the contrary) and the self-promotion of the modern singer known as Morrissey. While I can't presume to know Morrissey's private life, I'm curious: Is there a long tradition of strenuously gay artists who go to great lengths to portray themselves as morose celibates? Can such a trend (if it exists) be the product of more than simple protection from societal prejudice? A flamboyantly celibate mini-genre? A real-life, albeit unwilling, celibate Dear Unwilling Celibate, There is indeed a gay tradition of abstinence or celibacy, beginning with Plato's "Symposium," where the gorgeous Alcibiades describes his inability to seduce Socrates while they slept together one long winter night. Even Shakespeare, in his love sonnets to the mysterious "fair youth," seems to suggest that physical contact did not occur, by the poet's own choice. A good example of the ideological bias and unscholarly amateurism running through women's studies and gay studies is the way this issue of abstinence has been ignored or derided. All the great world religions, including sensuous Hinduism, honor celibacy as intrinsic to the ethical discipline of asceticism. The best of the medieval monks did not hate women or sex but sought to suppress the body in order to intensify their spiritual experience of God. The monkish impulse is detectable in the saturnine, reclusive Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci, who are crudely classified as "gay" today but who probably had very little sex in their stunningly productive lifetimes. In "Sexual Personae," I discuss celibacy as a symbol of psychological autonomy in the great Greek virgin goddesses, Athena and Artemis, as well as in the French novelist Balzac, who dressed in a monk's robe and abstained from sex during his Herculean labors on "The Human Comedy." I suspect that Walt Whitman too, despite some random romping and groping, was basically celibate. As someone whose dating life was for many years a complete disaster, I can testify that celibacy can enormously benefit artists and intellectuals, to whom it gives both energy and detachment. Balzac's fierce Cousin Bette gains from her virginity "a diabolical strength or the black magic of the Will." Perhaps Jean Cocteau, despite his gay adventures, reached this revelation. Dear Camille: Do you think Courtney Love has surpassed Madonna as an icon of tough, sexy, smart womanhood? Curious in New York Dear Curious, Courtney Love is clearly in transition, so it's too early to predict how she may develop as an actress or musician. But at this point it is preposterous to compare her achievements with those of Madonna, who is a world figure of huge impact on the performing arts. Courtney's core following is very limited by age, race and nationality, while Madonna's ardent, multiracial fans range from children to mature adults and number in the millions. Courtney has already shown she is the better actress because of her ability to open herself emotionally to her character, as well as to her director and fellow actors. Paradoxically, this may be because she's less psychologically stable than Madonna, who is a mogul and control freak and too suspicious and guarded to really blend with an ensemble where she's not the boss. The drug-free, perfectionist Madonna is much more profoundly visionary and steadily inner-directed than Courtney, who thus far has been primarily reactive, bouncing from place to place and thing to thing. I can't imagine Madonna -- or any genuine rebel -- saying what Courtney did after the Golden Globe awards about how much she was enjoying adults being "nice" to her. Courtney's recent, drastic image makeover was long overdue. Not only did she hang on to that tatty "Kinder-whore" look for four years too long, but her reputation still needs emergency resuscitation in some circles. For example, about a year and a half ago, a famous, hip comedian said disgustedly to me, after she saw a dirty, disheveled, staggering Courtney "dragging" her tiny child through a packed, raucous party in the middle of the night, "Kurt Cobain killed himself to get away from her." It must also be said that Courtney, as much as Hillary Clinton, owed her initial prominence to her association with a famous man. This cannot be said of Madonna, who learned her technical skills from a series of shadowy producers but who rocketed herself to superstardom. Finally, Madonna's massive contributions to music leave Courtney's in the dust. Courtney's group, Hole, is a good but not great band that has yet to add a single important song to the central repertoire of popular music. Madonna, in contrast, is a major original composer and arranger whose blazingly beautiful, intricately layered songs have dominated the air waves and permeated the imagination for 13 years. When will the Grammy Awards judges, those gross hypocrites, get around to honoring her? Please note that I continue to defend Madonna despite the fact that she has been nothing but bitchy, bitchy, bitchy about me! I am, you see, the second Italian-American lesbian named Camille whom the gods have devilishly sent to help and harass her -- the first being the pivotal, early manager whom Madonna ditched on her way up. March 4, 1997 Troubled? E-mail Camille at AskCamille@salonmagazine.com and tell her where it hurts. A R C H I V E S Why does female homosexuality turn me on? (02/18/97) Politically incorrect desires (02/04/97) Should I support Paula Jones? (01/27/97) Of transvestite pharoahs and afrocentrism (01/13/97) Bookmark: http://www.salonmagazine.com/columnists/paglia.html