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BY DAVID ADOX | later this year, Hawaii will very likely become the first state in America to grant same-sex couples the legal right to marry. The political and cultural debate over whether two men, or two women, should be allowed to marry will reach its most intense moment once gay and lesbian couples start flying to Hawaii in droves to be bonded in matrimony. Currently no state allows same-sex couples to be legally married. While the federal Defense of Marriage Act signed last year effectively ruled that no state is obliged to recognize a Hawaiian same-sex marriage, states are free to pass their own laws on the issue. The pros and cons of gay marriage have been explored by Andrew Sullivan for years. The 33-year-old, gay former editor of the New Republic is the author of "Virtually Normal: An Argument About Homosexuality." A self-styled conservative, Sullivan recently edited a "reader" of views on the subject, "Same-Sex Marriage: Pro And Con," a compilation of views from more than 70 thinkers -- from Ann Landers to William Safire to Plato. Salon spoke recently with Andrew Sullivan in New York. Why have you chosen to take on same-sex marriage as your fight, or should I say war? Because it is the most basic denial of civil rights right now in America -- there isn't any other issue that approaches this. Loving vs. Virginia (a landmark interracial marriage case), describes marriage as "one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men." It is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival. If gay men did not have the right to vote, would you be asking me the question, "Why are you making this your cause?" The question is, why isn't it everybody's? The Constitution guarantees the right to marry to murderers, to prisoners, to people with a history of neglecting their children, to people who have remarried 10 times, to O.J. Simpson, to Elizabeth Taylor. If all these people have a fundamental civil right to marry, as I think they do, we do too. You believe that marriage will have a stabilizing effect on the gay community. How is same-sex marriage going to be different from opposite-sex marriage? It's very hard to say until we have it. In fact I think it will be very hard to say until we've had it for about 20 years. In Denmark, where they have something close to same-sex marriage, they found that the divorce rate among homosexuals is actually lower than that among heterosexuals. But even if we were to make a complete hash of marriage, we'd still have a constitutional right to have it, and we musn't lose sight of that fact. Are there certain things that same-sex marriages might be better equipped to handle than heterosexual marriages? Same-sex marriages have the potential to realize equality between the two partners in a way that, in our generally sexist culture, many heterosexual marriages do not. Obviously it depends on the people involved, but by removing the issue of the gender war, you can have perhaps a more equal relationship. The gay community had high hopes for President Clinton. Were you surprised when he signed the Defense of Marriage Act? One of the errors of any civil rights movement is to think that our work will be done for us by any single politician, especially a politician like Bill Clinton, whose actions are more calibrated carefully to his -- not just daily, but hourly -- political advantage. We're bigger than President Clinton. President Clinton will come and go and this movement will be remembered. We want politicians to support us. But we're not dependent on them, and one day they will regret the fact that on their records they didn't stand up for what was right. Do you plan to get married, have a family with kids and a house in the suburbs? I think I can say I have almost no intention of marrying someone right now. This is not a personal crusade -- I'm not rationalizing my own desires here. I've actually always been quite happily independent. I think, like most people, finding someone you really love and want to spend your life with is a dream, but I wouldn't say that I'm the most likely candidate for it. I think I'm one of the least likely candidates for it. One of the authors in your compilation says, "Men seem caught between the two myths of finding everlasting true love and happiness in the same person, and constant excitement through sexual adventures." Doesn't that present a real problem for marriage -- gay or straight?
Evolutionary psychologists
will tell you we're genetically programmed to spread our seed as widely
as possible. But we're also genetically programmed to provide a stable
environment for children. Men -- hetero, homo -- are conflicted,
so what's new? I don't think marriage is an end to conflict, internal
or even external, but it is the best institution that human societies
have constructed for channeling it and providing a safer haven for it.
David Adox is a New York journalist. |
