T A B L E__T A L K Good lit mags: Where the hell are they? Chime in, in the Media section of Table Talk - - - - - - - - - - R E C E N T L Y The People are always wrong By David Futrelle Ed Koch jazzes up and dumbs down democracy on the new, improved "People's Court" (01/13/97) How I learned to stop worrying and love Gloria Allred By Frank Sanello She may be the Queen of Overexposure, but hard-charging feminist attorney Gloria Allred is on the side of the (loudmouthed) angels (01/12/97) Uncle Sam to Unabomber By Bruce Shapiro Crazy or not, we're coming to kill you (01/09/97) Sleaze, smears and spleen: A Novak way of knowing By Eric Alterman Robert Novak has exhumed a slanderous lie that I.F. Stone was a Communist spy (01/08/97) Under the Covers By James Poniewozik 1997's wrap-ups, unwrapped (01/07/97) - - - - - - - - - - BROWSE THE MEDIA CIRCUS ARCHIVES

NORTH KOREA'S EFFORTS TO LEARN THE WESTERN WAYS OF SPIN DOCTORING SHOW PROMISE, BUT A MASTERY OF THE MARKETING SLEIGHT-OF-HAND STILL ELUDES THEM. BY TOM McNICHOL | The Soviet empire has collapsed, China is going free market and Cuba is preparing to greet the pope. But there's still one country proud to carry the tattered Red flag and wave it in the face of capitalist running dogs everywhere: North Korea. The North Korean government is a throwback to the glory days of communism, when commissars mysteriously vanished from May Day photographs and the inevitable defeat of Western puppet governments seemed only another five-year plan away. Lately, though, North Korea has been trying to polish its image, using modern media tools such as newspaper ads and the Web. A full-page ad in the New York Times two weeks ago set the tone. Above a color photo of the current North Korean president, a headline proclaimed: KIM JONG IL EMERGES AS THE LODESTAR FOR SAILING THE 21ST CENTURY. The ritual Stalinist praise of the Maximum Leader, the use of the archaic word "lodestar" and the awkward "sailing" metaphor were clues that the North Koreans have for the moment eschewed the expertise of Western spin doctors and decided to stay "in-house" with their ad campaign. Too bad -- an American ad agency could have come up with something more snappy, like a tiny hand-tinted photo of Kim topped by a huge headline stating simply, "Uh-huh." The ad continued, "Kim Jong Il, Leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, has been elected General Secretary of the Worker's Party of Korea by the Unanimous Will and Desire of the Korean People!" Not bad as an attention-grabber, but that "unanimous will and desire" bit is a little too "Manchurian Candidate." American readers might be more understanding if instead Kim had been elected "Only After a Massive Infusion of Soft Money Freely Given by the Korean People!" The ad goes on to describe Kim as "a man of great leadership, remarkable wisdom, and virtues," someone who "will surely break fresh ground" and who "is always with the popular masses sharing the ups and downs of life with them." Here, Kim's handlers break the cardinal rule of political advertising: Don't Promise Anything. Better just to say that Kim will try very, very hard to be worthy of the unanimous will and desire of the Korean people than to burden him with breaking new ground. The rest of the ad is larded with facts and figures about Kim, a chronology of Kim's life, a long list of Kim's books, featuring such page turners as "For Carrying Out the Revolution of Light Industries," and Kim quotes, including the somewhat unconvincing "We have no intention to regard the United States as our eternal sworn enemy." All solemn reminders that it's hard to build a cult of personality without a real personality. But a small item at the bottom of the ad offers a clue about where the North Korean propaganda effort is headed as they follow their lodestar into the 21st century: the Web. Where better to spread the good news of communism than within the confines of the electronic gulag that holds millions in its thrall? N E X T+P A G E+| Comrades and click-throughs