Move through door revealing focus group in session. Pan down table past group to moderator asking them questions.

Moderator: OK ... how many of you would like more cheese on your pizza?

Cut to entire group slowly raising hands.

Moderator: OK.

Also Today Out of focus A peep through the one-way mirror at that great American institution, the focus group, reveals a glittering lineup of cheaters, repeaters and sad sacks who wash their hair with Jell-O.

Cut to moderator. Drift from moderator through one-way mirror to a group of researchers in suits observing the questioning.

Moderator: How many of you would like more toppings on your pizza?

Cut to shot from behind researchers as focus group again raises hands. One researcher clenches his fists in excitement.

Moderator: OK ... more cheese?

Cut to group of kids raising their hands positively.

Moderator: OK ... more toppings?

Cut to group of old veterans raising hands.

Moderator: OK ... more cheese? More toppings?... more? ... More?... More? ... More toppings?

Cut to group of people with big noses raising hands.

Cut to hands raising as different clipboards fly towards us and researchers celebrate. The clipboards read -- hairy figure skaters, slightly effeminate lumberjacks, over-the-hill rock stars.

Moderator: Cheese? ... toppings? ... more?

Cut to more groups. Star Trekkies, clowns and a Brazilian rain forest tribe are all raising their hands. Music reaches crescendo.

Cut to researchers grouped around map of America totally covered in push pins. One researcher fills in a final empty space.

Researcher: Well ... that's every man, woman and child.

Cut to group of orangutans all affirmatively raising hands.

Cut to moderator smiling.

Cut to shots of Little Caesars Pleasers pizzas. Announcer (voiceover): By popular demand, it's the new Little Caesars Pleasers menu. More meat ... more cheese ... more pepperoni ... more toppings.

Cut to animated Little Caesar with two "Pleasers" boxes.

Announcer (voiceover): Any two for one low price. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.

Little Caesar: Pizza! Pizza!
salon.com | April 23, 1999

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