The Village Voice, May 5 - 11

"Sin City" by William Mersey

Although I strongly suspect there is a large sign in the editorial offices of the Village Voice that says "I hate pigs" right next to a dart board adorned with Rudy Giuliani's face, there are times when this tedious party line results in some provocative reporting. Such is the case with William Mersey's piece on police officers who offer to look the other way in exchange for sex and money from sex workers.

"Smoke and Jeers" by Jennifer Gonnerman

Jennifer Gonnerman describes a scene from last week's Million Marijuana March in New York last week: "The procession ambled down Broadway to Battery Park, where hippie chicks in tie-dyed skirts twirled to reggae beats and FUBU-clad teenage boys did a brisk business selling Phillies blunts for $1 each." Ugh. When, oh when will all these damn wannabe hippies get it? Walking down the street in dated clothing, barefoot, with a spliff stuck in your unwashed face does not improve the reputation of the noble weed among those folks who suspect that "Reefer Madness" is an incisive documentary. Go home and start proving your political and social foes wrong! Smoke with subtlety and prove with your good grooming and quick wit that a toke from the dime bag does not mean you are an idiot.

"Mommie Dearest" by Lynn Yaeger

If you haven't bought a Mothers Day card or a gift for the person responsible for your being alive, you are in trooooouuuble! This piece on the holiday's anti-woman history might make you feel slightly less guilty, but only slightly.

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The Boston Phoenix, May 6-12

"Consuming Interests" by Michelle Chihara

I realize, of course, that heavy-duty academic research doesn't find its way into mainstream, or even "alternative," publications. Most of us have time to digest only the fluff. But I'm still tempted to say that for all their blubbering about the lack of jobs in the ivory tower, academics seem to waste a whole lot of time on meaningless crap like this study on how material goods and shopping are good for us, by an assistant professor of history at Boston University named Regina Blaszczyk. Thanks to the efforts of academics like Blaszczyk and Jon Goss (can we say "corporate sponsorship of American universities"?), we can justify our rampant consumerism and out-of-control credit card debt as research and self-affirmation, while people in Indonesia suffer without footnotes.

"General Doubts" by Jason Gay

U.S. "drug czar" Gen. Barry McCaffrey is in about as much denial about pot as the paraders in New York. Jason Gay, who rebutted my recent critique of his piece on teens with an e-mail consisting of the words "Ah, fuck off," reports on the czar's unwillingness to back down in the face of studies proving medical benefits of and disproving the "leads to other drugs" theories about marijuana. Increasing evidence points to a correlation between boneheadedness and the title "czar." Perhaps "Imperial Vizier" should be substituted.

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Salt Lake City Weekly, May 6 - 12

"The Sky is Falling" by D.P. Sorensen

I don't know about you, but I find this disturbing: Poo is falling out of the sky in Salt Lake City. While efforts are being made to clean the shit up, authorities can't do more than speculate about its origins. It's a bat! It's a plane! It's Superman! This is just a hunch, but perhaps God is taking a dump on the city in retribution for its honchos' indelicate bribery of Olympics Committee officials.

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Willamette Week

"Prescription for Trouble" by Chris Lydgate

First I got an apartment, and then I got a cat. Not long after that, I started waking up with my nose full of goo and my eyes watering like Niagra Falls. Did I ditch kitty? No. I went to my doctor and got Claritin, covered in part by my health insurance. From the allergy miracle drug Claritin to Viagra and Prozac, aggressive marketing by drug companies with products that cure previously incurable ailments has led to increased demand -- and HMOs are passing the costs along to customers. In a solidly reported piece, Chris Lydgate reports on the trend.

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L.A. New Times, May 6 - 12

"Bad Teeth" by Kevin McAlester

When I was a kid, we didn't have Marilyn Manson to feed our misery and teen angst. We had the Smiths. I still get nostalgic for the glory days of high school every time I hear lyrics such as, "Heaven knows I'm miserable now" or "If a double-decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die ..." While Pez conventioneers basked in the media limelight last week, the Smith/Morissey gathering in Los Angeles was largely overlooked. But Kevin McAlester was there, and his amusing piece chronicles the gathering of these "robotic zombies" with "gravity-defying hair" who cling to the past and their own misery.

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The Stranger, May 6 - 12

"Kids Are Mean!"

At this point, I'm pretty much ignoring all coverage of Littleton, Colo. Now that every news outlet in the world has weighed in on the topic hundreds of times, what more is there to say, really? And I would just ignore The Stranger's last-minute leap into the fray, if it weren't so damn insulting -- to the intelligence. If you want to argue that kids are mean-spirited, lousy and cruel and base all this on one extreme, recent example, then you have to have a lot more than some anecdotal evidence, random quotes from teenagers and generally sloppy journalism -- especially when you've had weeks to come up with this stuff.

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Bike messengering not your bag? As high school and college seniors face graduation and the inevitability of getting a job, I offer these stories about things to do with the rest of your life.

Mama's boys (and girls) New trend in New York: Become an investment banker, make up to 100K a year, live at home to "save on rent" and avoid reality.

Worker-Writer Festival Postal worker by day, poet by night! You too can be a starving artist in your spare time!

Monkey business One man struggles to rebuild the Philadelphia Zoo's primate center in the aftermath of a devastating fire.

Show me the sexy! Fashion photography, it's not just a job! It's art, baby.

Cafe wall painter Christian sells paintings by exhibiting his work on coffee-shop walls.

Firewomen! Chicks fight fires! Cool!
salon.com | May 7, 1999

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