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Out's liquid lunch, Lolita vs. Humbert and other marvels of media madness
By Susan Lehman
(12/24/98)

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OF THINK TANKS, REPUBLICAN PHONE SEX AND DEMON GODDESSES OF LOVE | PAGE 1, 2
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Drudge eats crow, sort of

Allegations that Clinton fathered a 13-year-old black boy with a prostitute are, as everybody now knows, completely bogus. In a nice display of the speed with which salacious rumor travels in the new media age, the story, which Matt Drudge picked up from the tabloid the Star, surfaced in the New York Post, New York Daily News, Boston Herald and Washington Times and on several cable TV shows shortly after Drudge reported it earlier this month.

Complete with obligatory jab at the whipping boy du jour, the "elite media," here's Drudge's nonretraction of the bogus story he propelled across the country: "And while the elite media will bark that it was wrong to report the DNA chase that was unfolding behind the scenes -- until after it is all over, of course -- DRUDGE REPORT readers of all stripes have come to expect details on events rocking and shocking those unfortunate souls who rise to power!"

And if those details aren't LURID and completely FALSE, those readers will rise up in OUTRAGE! After all, if we wanted "truth," we could get it from the out-of-touch elite media!

Jewesses wonder: What do women want?

The current issue of Lilith, the Independent Jewish Women's Magazine (gentle reader, don't tell us you haven't seen this spirited magazine of opinion and ideas), includes a brief report on a recent Town Hall discussion, moderated by Katie Roiphe, between Erica Jong and Naomi Wolf on the question, posed by Jong's latest book, "What Do Women Want?"

"More," said "Beauty Myth" author and sometime Cosmo contributor Wolf. "Better orgasms. More touching. More love ... We really are demon goddesses of love." You go, third-wave feminism poster girl! "We want work, we want bread, we want roses," Jong reportedly said.

Lilith allows right-wing heroine Wendy Shalit, author of "A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue," to weigh in on the subject in a brief article printed just beneath the one in which Wolf and Jong declare their desire.

Shalit, reports Lilith, thinks if women knew what was good for them, "They'd wear skirts to their ankles, remain virgins till marriage, stay off Prozac and hold to their dreams of finding the perfect man." Despite her devotion to premarital chastity, Shalit tells Lilith's editors she'd like to make sure any potential husband is "a good kisser."

And you thought independent Jewish women's magazine's weren't steamy.

That's not funny!

Can't anyone take a joke anymore? Apparently not. Alec Baldwin has been severely flogged in various quarters for a satiric riff on the Conan O'Brien show in which he called for Henry Hyde to be stoned to death. In a Page 1 piece in this Sunday's New York Times examining why Hyde sharpened his resolve against the president, the congressman is said to have been more upset by Baldwin's schtick than by revelations about his decades-old extramarital affair.

Former Conan producer and head writer Robert Smigel tweaked those outraged by Baldwin's satire in a letter he sent to the New York Times op-ed page:

"As an occasional performer and writer for 'Late Night with Conan O'Brien,' I would very much like to weigh in with my employer, NBC, with my condemnation of Alec Baldwin's mock attack on that show on Congressman Henry Hyde. Mr. Baldwin exercised poor judgment in expressing mock rage and a mock desire to see Mr. Hyde and his family stoned to death, as Mr. O'Brien mock rescued him with an oxygen mask as the audience laughed and then mock cheered ... I wonder how Mr. Baldwin would feel if someone mock suggested that he be stoned to death as part of a mock angry comic routine. This kind of routine could easily be taken seriously, especially by people who have only had it described to them by conservative commentators ..."

"The lesson is simple ... stoning ... a controversial politician like Henry Hyde is not the kind of thing that should be joked about. It should be brought up seriously on shows like 'Crossfire' and 'The McLaughlin Group.' As its feasibility was discussed besides issues like a protracted lying-about-sex trial, it would fit in comfortably with the current level of political dialogue."

Smigel's over-the-top letter never ran, but some Times editors reportedly got a kick out of it.
SALON | Jan. 14, 1999

Susan Lehman's Media Circus appears every Thursday.