In an effort to one-up its competition, a chichi Chicago restaurant called Kizoku has begun offering a special dining experience called “body sushi.” Dare we ask? From the Tribune: “Starting at $500, a party of four to six people can enjoy an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet presented on the torso of a semi-nude woman. Oyster shells and leaves cover most of her breasts. Cellophane, a G-string and bamboo leaves disguise her lower region. Bamboo leaves topped with sushi are also placed across her torso. And then, you dig in.”

Needless to say, Broadsheet finds this stunt — a practice called nyotaimori in Japan — outrageous and contemptible. Please write the restaurant owner and let him know: No woman, ever, should be asked to wear $500 worth of sushi for 90 minutes without being able to eat it.