Quiz: What did Dick Cheney say to his daughter Mary when she came out?

a) “That’s a cheap and tawdry political trick.”

b) “You’re my daughter and I love you, and I just want you to be happy.”

c) “The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.”

According to advance reports on Mary Cheney’s forthcoming memoir, the answer — believe it or not — is b.

(And, according to the Big Gay Picture, Mr. Cheney continued: “ even though I will pledge my support to a political ideology that will demonize and violate you at every opportunity.”)

If Cheney did indeed speak the above words from the Ideal Coming-Out Story script, quoth Shakespeare’s Sister, “that makes his willingness to sit atop a platform openly hostile toward gays even more disgusting.”

While plenty of blogger ire/irony is directed at Cheney père, several others (as they have in the past) find Mary complicit. “Now It’s My Turn” will be released “just weeks before the U.S. Senate brings up the amendment to the U.S. Constitution to ban gays from marrying,” notes AmericaBlog. “Is Mary finally taking a stand for … her community, or is she once again running for the closet just in time for her father to bash us once again?”

To be utterly fair to Ms. Cheney, “gay” does not equal “activist.” Some of my best friends are gays who have no interest in marriage and who don’t “do” Pride. They, and others, are fortunate enough to be living the right others are fighting for: the right to just … be.

Then again, none of them is a public figure, a memoirist or a former paid advisor to the Bush-Cheney campaign. In other words, has Mary Cheney forfeited her right to just be?

If you like, you can withhold judgment at least until her appearance tomorrow night on ABC’s “Primetime.”