Sweet Jesus. Pope Benedict is going to Poland, and in his honor various municipalities are showing just how fun devotion can be by banning the sale of alcoholic beverages and certain desserts. Also banned: TV ads for lingerie, contraception and tampons. Yes, tampons -- those harbingers of hedonism, those lascivious reminders that vaginas exist -- will be hidden from papal sight.

Zbigniew Badziak, the state-run TV network's head of advertising, told the Associated Press that "there is always the risk that the faithful may feel hurt if programming devoted to the Pope's visit is interrupted by frivolous ads." Not that they banned all advertising -- just frivolous ads for contraception and feminine hygiene. Still OK: useful, important advertising like car commercials.

As our tipster noted in an e-mail, "Apparently the female reproductive cycle and its consequent necessities are somehow evil and offensive to the Church hierarchy? Oh wait, somehow I think I already knew that."

I mean, did the Virgin Mary not menstruate? Or is it just that the church prefers pads?