The New York Post's Page Six informs us that the latest issue of GQ features what is no doubt a well-researched article about male tennis stars losing their game shortly after saying their wedding vows. Andrew Corsello, writing for the magazine, calls this decline "the curse of the succubus," and as an example cites Pete Sampras' fall from the top after his marriage to actress Bridgette Wilson. (That bitch!) According to Page Six, Corsello also notes that Jimmy Connors, Björn Borg and John McEnroe saw their careers slump as a result of she-devil wives. What seems to be taking place is not merely a loss of game but a frightening overall emasculation. In fact, it may be worth putting a moratorium on marriage for all athletes until we get more solid results.

But unfortunately, Corsello doesn't probe this dilemma any further, leaving us to guess whether female players too lose their stuff after matrimony. Or if gay players experience a fallout once committed. Who knows what kind of disastrous results he might have discovered.