There's trouble brewing in Salem, Mass. In news that reads like an Onion article: Police say a pair of alleged witches gutted and beheaded a raccoon carcass and scattered the remains outside of two businesses, Angelica of the Angels and the Goddess' Treasure Chest. One of the accused women's lawyers attributed it to a "conflict inside the town coven," reports the Boston Herald.

In other weird news: Monkey molestation. The BBC reports that a crew of marauding monkeys is terrorizing villagers in Nachu, Kenya. Not only do the vervet monkeys eat the villagers' crops, but they allegedly grope female villagers and make sexual gestures toward them. "The monkeys grab their breasts, and gesture at us while pointing at their private parts. We are afraid that they will sexually harass us," said Lucy Njeri.

Maybe Viagra does prevent wandering eyes. A ways back, we wrote about that bizarre new "Viva Viagra" commercial where a bunch of men get together for a jam session in an old Western-style saloon and sing, "At the end of the day I'm not a guy who will stray 'cause she's my heart's desire." At the time, we wondered what the hell an impotence drug has to do with staying faithful. Then there came news today that Viagra boosts levels of oxytocin in rats. Scientists are unsure whether it also boosts oxytocin (the hormone associated with love) in humans.

Women want female docs for intimate checkups. An Australian study has found that 64 percent of women prefer having a female doctor when having a "genital check-up." On the other hand, 70 percent of men showed no preference.

Afghan girl raped, family breaks taboo and reports it. A 7-year-old girl was allegedly raped by two brothers -- one 18 years old, the other 24 -- in Ghazni, Afghanistan. The brothers allegedly had their 15-year-old sister lure the girl into their home. There, it's reported that they raped her until she lost consciousness. The Associated Press reports: "When she came to, she went home and complained of stomach pains for a few days ... The family then took her to the hospital, where doctors examined the girl and determined she had been raped." The men were arrested but released soon after.

As compensation for keeping quiet, the brothers' family offered to the girl's family a 6-year-old girl as a bride. They also offered to have the alleged victim marry a young male in their family, so as to save her and her family from dishonor. The family declined and, despite death threats, sought the help of Attorney General Abdul Jabar Sabit in Kabul. An inquiry was ordered and one of the men was recently arrested.