TODAY

Drama Queen candidates
The best of the worst of what you did

Contestant No. 1
Contestant No. 2
Contestant No. 3

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TABLE TALK

To spank or not to spank: Join the debate in the Mothers area of Table Talk

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RECENTLY

Sex and the 7-year-old boy
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Adoption -- and giving birth -- taught me that biology has nothing to do with being a parent
(04/30/98)

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My son and I grew up together, will grow old together -- and saved each other
(04/29/98)

The worst mother who ever lived, and other light reading
Mythology may be the key to understanding the meaning of your pathetic mortal life
(04/28/98)

Fly girl
By Phaedra Hise
Flying with my toddler at the controls brings back the thrill I felt when my dad taught me to fly
(04/27/98)

ARCHIVES

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Mamafesto
By Camille Peri
Why it's time
for Mothers Who Think

[ CONTESTANT No. 1 ]

RUMORS OF MY DEATH HAVE BEEN GREATLY EXAGGERATED ... BY ME
By Marilynn Bachmayer
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When I was a junior in high school, I had a friend who moved to Oregon to go to college. After he left we corresponded, but I didn't realize how important my letters were to him until -- after not responding for several months -- I received another letter that read: "It's been so long since you've written, I figure you must have died."

Unable to resist, I wrote a letter back. Only it was a faux response from my parents, complete with a black-edged border, thanking him for his letter and announcing my untimely demise in a car accident. A week after I sent this, a letter from him arrived, addressed to my parents (which I confiscated), profusely offering his condolences and saying all kinds of nice things about me. It was like being present at my own funeral, the old "it's great to know how others felt about you when you were alive" bit.

I sat on this letter for another week. I felt I had to tell him my letter was all a lie, but I hated to disclose my duplicity and confess to my nasty trick -- it belied everything he said about me in his letter to my parents! Finally, I wrote to him and got a scathing reply on how truly awful my little trick was. He had bought it -- hook, line and sinker.

Epilogue: Thirty years later, I ran into this man at a dance. I walked over, introduced myself, got an astonished response and an invitation to dance. During that dance, he said to me, "I still haven't quite forgiven you for what you did to me with that bogus letter."
SALON | May 4, 1998

Contestant No. 1 | Contestant No. 2 | Contestant No. 3 | Vote now!