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In a league of their own
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Even Dusty Baker told her to get a life, but one baseball fanatic and her daughter wouldn't think of missing spring training
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The straightest arrow of them all: My friend the gay Scoutmaster
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Poems of edgy urban working wifedom
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The Spock touch
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More than just a bestselling child-care guru, the late doctor "Spock-marked" a generation with his politics
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Worse than it oughta be
By Sara Nelson
"As Good As It Gets" is just one more pathetic male rescue fantasy
(03/20/98)

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Why it's time
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HEY HEY, HO HO, THE MATRIARCHY'S GOT TO GO | PAGE 2 OF 2

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Perhaps, I thought, one of the male organizers might have a fresher perspective. "I was a women's studies major in college," said Jason, 28 of his involvement. "Most people assumed since I was a feminist, I must be either gay, pussy-whipped or trying to get laid." In fact, Jason said, it was his interest in smart women that led to his interest in the movement. "In college, those smart women from high school became feminists and that's who I hung out with," he said, then quickly added: "By the way, my feminism has never gotten me laid."

When Third Wave leader Heather Cassell made her way to my table, I asked her to fill me in on what exactly the group stands for. Instead, she started with what the group isn't. "We are post-feminist, post-gay rights, post-civil rights," she said. "We are women and men who care about women's issues for ourselves and for future generations."

So why did the evening feature an old-guard feminist?

"We have tools, thanks to our foremothers," said Cassell. "We have names for things like sexual harassment and date rape."

I admire Gloria Steinem's boundless energy, her ideological zeal and her commitment. And I'm not stupid enough or ungrateful enough to think that I -- that all women in my generation -- don't owe a debt of gratitude to women like Steinem who have in many ways shaped my political sensibility. But this night I was promised something new, and that's what I wanted. If feminism is looking to be reborn it seemed that a perfect place to start was with an examination of the White House sex scandal, which has called into question many feminist stances and loyalties, and has confounded feminist leaders.

More then any other event in recent memory, the current scandals present a glorious opportunity for young feminists to define themselves separately from their Second Wave foremothers. The New Girl Order should be unafraid to challenge men, even those who politically are "on our side." This is an occasion for young feminists to swipe the torch from women like Steinem, to call a pig a pig.

I asked Cassell what Third Wave members thought about the Clinton scandal. "There's been no discussion of the Clinton scandal," she said. "We've been busy on other issues."

Didn't she think what was allegedly going on in the White house was upsetting?

"Personally, for me, what's going on in Iraq is more pressing. It would be important if President Clinton had sexually harassed [Monica Lewinsky]," said Cassell, seemingly oblivious to Kathleen Willey's widely reported charge earlier that week that the president had made unsolicited sexual advances. "If not, it's a personal thing between him and Hillary. I think that women's groups are sick of hearing about it. It's almost a given that the president is going to be flirtatious and come on to women."

But should women accept a licentious president as "a given"? And what if Lewinsky was rewarded with a coveted internship at the White House because of a sexual relationship with the president? Couldn't Clinton's pattern of "coming on to" women in the workplace, if true, be considered an abuse of privilege and power? And how are we to reconcile the fact that the most feminist-minded first lady in history, a woman who has been an inspiration to many, stays with a man who continues to humiliate her publicly? We may all be sick of hearing about it, but aren't there still important issues that need to be addressed?

Apparently not. "It's so sad that nobody knew these women's names two months ago and now -- through their action, through their victimization or whatever -- they are household words," added Barlerin, the Third Wave member, referring to Lewinsky, Paula Jones and Willey. "Because of the media, there is a tragic perpetration of our desire to know it all. Right now I am more angry at the media. "

I asked Barlerin why women's rights groups aren't defending Willey or Jones as they did Anita Hill -- or at least looking carefully at their allegations?

"That's a good question. I'll have to consider that for myself and for Third Wave."

By the time the lecture began, it was clear that the evening was meant to be more like a cozy, sisterly fireside chat than a provocative forum. Journalist Evelyn White, an unabashed Friend of Gloria and author of a forthcoming biography of Alice Walker, also in attendance, seemed like an unlikely choice for the interviewer deemed to ask the "questions no one has dared to ask." And, in fact, as Steinem and White chatted in plush armchairs next to a vase of spring flowers, they seemed more interested in their generation than mine. Probing questions ranged from "So Gloria, tell me about the early days of Ms. What was it really like?" to "Tell me about the book you're working on now."

Finally, White fired a fast one. "Let's talk about what is going on in the White House ..."

"Well, clearly, President Clinton needs sex addiction therapy," Steinem said, to titters from the audience. "But ... he doesn't need impeachment."

Steinem went on to say, much as she did in an Op-Ed piece in the New York Times the following Sunday, that the difference between the allegations against President Clinton and those leveled at Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and former Sen. Bob Packwood came down to that old feminist aphorism: "Yes means yes, and no means no."

"With Willey and Jones, what he allegedly did was a gross, stupid, reckless pass -- that never happened again. In the case of Packwood and Thomas it happened, and it continued to happen, over the course of several years. It seems to me that the minimum we can ask is that they take 'no' for an answer, and Clinton did that."

Sure, he took "no" for an answer from one woman, but then he allegedly went on to bust more moves. For the woman who spearheaded the modern women's movement, Steinem's response reeked of old-fashioned female denial -- and seemed suspiciously to pin women into the old, classic role as arbiters of appropriate sexual behavior. And by neatly packaging the president as a "sex addict," she seemed more interested in looking for a way to excuse him than in engaging in an honest dissection of the complex issues involved.

"The media says we're inconsistent," Steinem continued. "I think we're being real, listening to each woman."

As I walked out of the theater that night, still wondering who was doing the listening, I overheard a Third Wave organizer say to a friend: "I'm so glad Gloria addressed the Clinton issue. Now I know what to say when people ask me about it."
SALON | March 27, 1998