A L S O_ T O D A Y

Joan Walsh's 40-and-over All-Star team

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T A B L E_ T A L K

Is your workplace "family friendly"? Which programs work best? Join the discussion in Table Talk's Mothers area

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R E C E N T L Y

To spank or not to spank
By Albert Mobilio
A husband from the working class squares off with his gently bred wife
(10/07/98)

Spanking: A black mother's view
By Karen Grigsby Bates
The survival legacy of slavery taught blacks to spank more than whites -- and that's why you don't see as many black kids having public tantrums
(10/07/98)

Princess Monica
By Lori Leibovich
Why the Starr Report and the Tripp tapes make Jewish women cringe
(10/06/98)

Bed rest sucks
By Kristin Wiederholt
Excessive vomiting, boredom and the other joys of bed rest
(10/05/98)

Falling for Tiger Woods
By Erin J. Aubry
Sportscasters may have abandoned this young wonder, but I'm still by his side
(10/01/98)

BROWSE THE FEW GOOD MEN ARCHIVES

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Mamafesto
By Camille Peri
Why it's time
for Mothers Who Think

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BY JOAN WALSH | It's hard not to notice -- hard for me, anyway -- that the playing years of the major league baseball player correspond almost exactly to the period of peak fecundity -- and perceived sexual desirability -- of the American woman. In your teens you're a prospect, your 20s are your prime; by your 30s, you're showing signs of age but compensating with experience and wisdom. But by 40, you're expected to move gracefully out of the sunshine and into the next phase of your life -- hanging up the cleats, if you're a baseball player; cutting your hair and lengthening your skirts, if you're a woman -- after sending the crib and baby clothes to Goodwill.

Maybe that's why, the week I turned 40, I was inspired by the stunning end-of-the-season play of some guys who are fairly geriatric, by baseball standards. On the final Saturday of the regular season, ESPN's "Baseball Tonight" trumpeted the fact that three 40-year-olds -- pitcher Orel Hershiser of the San Francisco Giants, third baseman Gary Gaetti of the Chicago Cubs and left fielder Rickey Henderson of the Oakland A's -- had that day won games for their teams, despite their advanced ages. Meanwhile, the Giants' Joe Carter, a lad of 38 on the verge of premature retirement, was carrying the team to a tie for the National League Wild Card spot (batting over .400 in his last 25 games) in the twilight of his final season.

Giants general manager Brian Sabean gave credit for the team's end-of-season surge -- which came up short when they lost a one-game playoff to the Cubs -- to its many veterans. The Giants' starting pitching staff, for instance, was the oldest in the major leagues, with three of five starters over 36, but its ERA made it a respectable eighth out of 30 teams. "I'll be honest: It gives me goose bumps to be in that clubhouse and see veterans like Orel Hershiser and Joe Carter in Giants' uniforms," fawned Sabean (who, at 42, by the way, is a young GM).

I always got goose bumps in the Giants' clubhouse, too -- not for that reason; I only go in when I know the players are dressed, and I keep my eyes at eye level -- but because of all the baseball wisdom accumulated there. But it was also poignant to see several older Giants having strong end-of-career seasons, because sadly, they were just that: at the end of their careers. What does that say about me? How washed up am I? I don't want to take the women-and-ballplayers analogy too far, of course, because there are many more sexy, vital, happy 40-something women than there are 40-plus major leaguers. And certainly I don't feel 40. Last week an old boyfriend tried to rationalize forgetting my 40th birthday by saying I don't look 40. But still, it's hard to see baseball players my age judged so definitively past their physical prime. I reject the possibility that I am, too.

N E X T_ P A G E: The longer lives of ballplayers