Care for something saucy?
A tour of the world's most infamous aphrodisiacs, from dog penis and prunes to swallows' hearts and spaghetti puttanesca.
By Robert Sietsema
Read more: Sex, Cooking, Life, Eat and Drink, Food and Travel
Feb. 13, 2007 | Consider the oyster. Found all over the world, the common bivalve isn't pretty: The gray mottled shell is pock-marked and plain, its uneven halves don't quite fit together. Yet as an inducement to love, its reputation is unequaled. The Roman satirist Juvenal heartily endorsed it, and the 18th century courtesan Marquis de Pompadour deployed it -- along with chocolate and celery -- in her seductive arsenal. (Another of her contributions to sex appeal: Elvis' hairdo.) Casanova sucked down 50 raw oysters each morning while lolling in his bath, gazing at the next gal in line. Even today, young and old men in New York's Little Italy stand at neighborhood oyster bars downing a half-dozen as an inspiration for the evening's activities. It's about the only aphrodisiac everyone can agree on. After all, Aphrodite was spawned from an oyster shell.
But why oysters? Perhaps it's because, when the shell opens, they bear a blush-inducing resemblance to the female anatomy. There's certainly a curious thrill to teasing a raw oyster out of its shell using only your tongue and teeth, and lapping the juices. In addition, the texture of these slippery creatures resembles the amorous excretions of both sexes. As a friend observed after consuming his first raw oyster, "It's like the King of England coming in your mouth."
In a taxonomy of reputed aphrodisiacs, the oyster establishes an important principle. Specifically, the notion that an aphrodisiac is effective to the extent that it resembles a sex organ is called "mimesis." Only a handful of aphrodisiacs are vaginal -- most notably the fig, the peach (Remember "Eat a Peach" by the Allman Brothers?), and epithelial orchids, which were made into a slew of potions in France and India during the Middle Ages. When it comes to getting it on, more aphrodisiacs claim to aid in getting it up -- and so are modeled on the penis. Raw leeks, carrots and celery are common mimetics that are prized in many cultures. More ambitiously amorous chefs might try the Kama Sutra's recipe, which suggests boiling asparagus in a combination of cow's milk and ghee, flavoring it with lots of anise. That's anise, not anus.
The Arabs swallowed live skinks -- slippery, long-tailed lizards -- as an inducement to manly feats. Snake blood is another popular aphrodisiac, based on the facile resemblance of penis to snake; some parlors in Malaysia still offer the reptiles perforated near the tail for easy drinking. The Turks preferred satyrion root (the name says it all), a substance so powerful it prompted 17th-century scientist Athanasius Kircher to exclaim, "Odd, they'll make one old fellow of sixty-five cut a caper like a dancing master." Ginseng serves the same purpose today, although the root is thought to resemble the whole man rather than just the dangling participle.
The horn as a symbol of the erect male member may be too obvious to mention, responsible as it is for that enduring expression of ardor, "I'm so horny." But less benignly, the murder of African and Indian rhinos for their horns, used in powdered form in traditional Asian potency medicines, has endangered both species, and the recent uptick in the Chinese economy has apparently intensified the problem. In a pinch, it seems any variety will do, since the bony protuberances of water buffalo and saiga antelope are now in demand.
Aphrodisiac enthusiasts are anything but subtle: Tiger penis or, indeed, the member of any animal thought to display manly characteristics (even the dog -- larger canines preferred), is always en vogue. Intrepid Australian traveler Paul Bakker recounts his experience eating at a unique North Korean restaurant. Ushered late one evening by his state-appointed guides into a low concrete building, with a disco ball, that was part restaurant, part karaoke bar, Bakker discovered that the table d'hôte was pooch. The specialty, considered a form of health food throughout Korea (though I've also eaten dog in Queens, N.Y.!), was served in a series of courses beginning with the backbone, then proceeding through barbecued ribs and on to a series of stews. When Bakker's translator announced that the most important part of the meal was about to arrive, he referred to it as the middle leg. Observed the author, "The shape was unmistakable. As if on cue, a drunken Korean jumped up from the next table and started belting out a patriotic folk song." Bakker doesn't report what it tasted like, or what he was inspired to do after the meal.
Of course, you don't have to go to all the way to Korea to enjoy the revivifying effects of animal penis. Even in the U.S., most Jamaican eateries serve up cow cod soup on the weekends, a thick pottage of the bovine member cut up into little gelatinous pieces and mixed with roots and herbs selected for their similar therapeutic effects. This soup is used more for prophylaxis than for remedial purposes, and, come Saturday night, no Jamaican man feels embarrassed about fortifying himself with a serving in full view of the other diners. When you give it a try, wash it down with one of the roots tonics that are available in the same restaurants, and which sport unmistakable names like Front End Lifter, Tan-Pon-It Long or Agony Drink.
