... Iceberg, the clothing company, has also hopped on the skank-wagon with its newest ads, featuring equally lopsided modelebrity Pamela Anderson (who bears an uncanny resemblance to Arnold Schwarzenegger when posing upside down in aviator glasses). We're wondering what Pam did to deserve its honor. Last year's campaign featured product-placing rappers Lil' Kim, Foxy Brown and Busta Rhymes -- all of whom had previously mentioned Iceberg jeans in their songs. Never thought you'd miss Kate Moss? You might start to if this goes on much longer.

... So neon happened. This month's Bazaar features Louis Vuitton's leather bag in neon lemon and a slightly greener Chloé jacket with sequined horses on the sleeve. Some people just seem hellbent on proving that the '80s are back. They're back, OK, but at $60 a piece, clear plastic acrylic cuffs studded with Swarovski crystals aren't going to help anybody. And, anyway, hasn't Swarovski done enough with those crystal tattoo things?

... Just in time for the release of the new Jackson Pollock bioflick, one '80s fad no one ever really followed is all over the glossies again: garish, neon eye shadow in unflattering lines, smears and blotches. Abstract-express yourself if you must, but in most places it's still considered impolite to play with your eye shadow.

... Fashion Wire Daily reports that after two years of sloping sales, the ailing house of Versace is finally showing signs of recovery. Sales increased by 3.2 percent in 2000 to about $413 million and the company's debt was halved. We attribute it to a shoe featured in an ad in this month's Vanity Fair: cobalt blue strappy stilettos tied together with silk tassels! Forget sailor stripes and dress like a curtain instead. Or, hell, dress like the whole room. Just because you didn't have a little French girl's chambre growing up doesn't mean you can't dress like a little French girl's chambre now. Toile de Jouy is everywhere -- and Cacharel is back!

-- Carina Chocano

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