D R A M A_ Q U E E N

Drama Queen Winner
What toys ruined your life?

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T A B L E_ T A L K

How deeply do you despise/love Martha Stewart? Cast stones/sing praises in the Mothers area of Table Talk

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R E C E N T L Y

Kids just want to have fun
By Anne Morrow Sampson
Why do the toys I bought my kids to improve their hand-eye coordination and spatial dexterity just sit in the closet?
(12/02/98)

The men's room
By Diane Lore
There's no rest for parents weary of making the decision whether to send their kids into public bathrooms
(12/01/98)

Go with the flow
By Jenn Shreve
A small, vocal group of women wants you to toss out your pads, tampons and liners and go -- no joke -- reusable
(11/30/98)

Thanksgiving
By Anne Lamott
If I can muster the love and patience it takes to deal with my mother, does it still count if my hands are trembling with rage?
(11/25/98)

Turkey fry
By Jennifer Reese
An old lover taught me the sexiest type of Thanksgiving cooking and how to do something sacrilegious and preposterous to a national symbol
(11/24/98)

BROWSE THE SECOND THOUGHTS ARCHIVES

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Salon Columnists

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Mamafesto
By Camille Peri
Why it's time
for Mothers Who Think

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S A L O N
E M P O R I U M
FREE! 12-ounce bag of Salon Blend with a purchase of $30 or more. While supplies last.

SECOND THOUGHTS BY SALLIE TISDALE | Your child is so adorable, so perfect, so irreplaceable -- wouldn't it be nice if you could have another one just like her? The next best thing to cloning is My Twinn^TM, a doll made to look exactly like your child, only smaller. Perhaps My Twinn^TM is taking a brilliant approach to the modern marketing of narcissism. After all, a beautifully made doll could, if socially accepted, prove to be the perfect solution for those professionals who really don't want more than one child. My Twinn^TM comes in nonposeable and poseable versions and never needs diapers, food, a driver's license or college tuition. And it's available right now for only $159.95. (Prices go up close to the holidays; wait until the New Year for prices to drop again.)

I suspect the motives of both the customers and the manufacturers (who project the image of homespun, loving "artisans" in a small shop in Englewood, Colo.) are more innocent and less calculating than that. It is hard to raise children precisely because they do not hold still, because they are forever leaving us behind. The word "unique" occurs frequently in the catalog. "Every child is special and unique. That's why every My Twinn^TM doll is a unique one-of-a-kind gift. Each one is individually created to resemble one special person ... your child." The "soft, cuddly, and durable" dolls are hand-painted with everything from eyebrows to freckles and moles designed to achieve the somewhat eerie perfection of likeness. The very individuality of children is the only real selling point for this most inanimate object.

The catalog has many photographs of "actual" little girls with their "actual" My Twinn^TM dolls, beside their mothers' testimonials of customer satisfaction. Most rave about how much the dolls look "just like" their daughters, and several mention that their daughters and their dolls are now "inseparable." (This last brought to mind a foot-stomping 5-year-old in high dudgeon, shouting "Not without my doll!" and refusing to take off her filthy matching outfit -- but maybe that's just my own parental experience.)

Part of the My Twinn^TM world is the fun of matching outfits. Every doll comes dressed in a particular outfit: Customers can pick the Periwinkle Jersey Knit Dress, the Light Pink Floral Dress, the '50s Pink Poodle Skirt and Knit Top, the Red Check Flannel Dress, the Country Garden Dress, the Classic Sailor Dress or any of a number of other combinations for their doll. And for another $39.95 or another $46.95 or another $59.95, parents can buy an identical outfit for their daughter.

N E X T+P A G E: Sports? Forget it