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BY GARY KAMIYA | The same week an Italian court ruled that a woman wearing blue jeans could not have been raped and the Rev. Jerry Falwell, in an ecstatic vision, divined creeping homosexuality in the purple Teletubbie, a nicely coifed Linda Tripp appeared on NBC's "Today" to tell America that she did it all to protect Monica. "I tried to be almost a surrogate mom," Tripp said in a soft, sincere voice. "She often said, 'I wish I had a mom like you.'" With soft sincerity, she spoke of her warm feelings toward Monica. Sincerely and softly, she said, "The notion that [Lewinsky and President Clinton's relationship] was consensual should offend every mother in the country." There was so much sincerity and softness in the air that it would have taken every mother in the country to fumigate the studio. Tripp, 40 pounds lighter and completely made over since her August post-grand jury rehab show bombed on the courthouse steps, was tastefully attired in a checked jacket. Gone were the ungainly wings of hair, which at various times had given her the unwished-for appearance of a vast, demonic Pekingese. The formerly Pullman-size bags under her eyes had been reduced to carry-ons. The Tripp chin, which had tended toward floppiness in her earlier performances, was trimmer and tighter. Before she began her rigorous training for the National Rehab Tour, Tripp's face had an oversize, mannish quality that conjured up unfortunate images of a cackling hag stirring hideous ingredients in a big iron pot. Now her entire face looked more tender, more feminine, as if it had been skillfully sandblasted. Virtually all physical reminders of the bad old Tripp, the double double toil and trouble, hover through the fog and filthy air Tripp had been erased. Tripp's on-camera demeanor also appeared to have benefited from first-class professional de-wicca-ing. Her expression, as reporter Jamie Gangel grilled her, remained sensitive and solicitous. The aggressive, quavering sanctimony of her infamous courthouse-steps appearance, when millions of Americans ran screaming in terror from their houses after she abruptly informed them that "I'M YOU," was replaced by a more low-key, affable persona. Gone was the ineffective Body Snatcher rhetoric; instead, Tripp spoke, apparently from the region of her heart, of her maternal feelings. (It appears not to have occurred to her or her handlers that the idea of Linda Tripp as the Mother of America is a nightmare on an almost Boschian scale, a kind of metaphysical demon wrapped around existence itself.) "This was to protect Monica," she said in all candor. Candidly, she revealed that she had taped her friend to save her life. "She threatened suicide on more than one occasion," she candidly revealed. She also said that she believed President Clinton might have, not to put too fine a point on it, put a contract out on her. "There were threats," she said. But perhaps sensing that this Vito Clintonioni, Linda Tripp has become a stone in my shoe line might not be the best choice, Tripp moved on to other subjects. Flag-waving was her first refuge. Of the taping, she said, "I thought of it as my patriotic duty." She even, in what may have been a slight reach, solemnly reminded viewers that she had been an Army wife for many years. N E X T+P A G E+| NBC: No tears; New York Times: Tears - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Become a Salon member. Click here. |
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