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I walked from the church through Helen's neighborhood toward East Capital Street. A few blocks away, a car pulled up beside me. The windows rolled down, and an elderly couple inside said they'd seen me at the service and asked if I needed a ride to the cemetery. I thanked them, but said I needed to get back to work. The Firearms Policy Team report was due that week. It was easy to hail a cab going downtown, for a white man, anyway. Unlike the local residents, I could get out of Southeast a lot more easily than I could get in.

The day after the funeral, the mayor convened an interagency task force to come up with new solutions to the crime problem. Police were ordered to work overtime. The D.C. Housing Authority reported it was intensifying efforts to renovate apartments and improve safety at East Capital Dwellings. Helen's death really seemed to galvanize the city.

But my friend Kevin at work, a black man from Baltimore who has paid more attention to these things over the years than I have, says this always happens after a highly publicized crime: There's a lot of talk about new theories of prevention and community policing and gun control, but nothing changes on the street.

Walking through Helen's neighborhood, I was reminded of what my friend Jeff said last year, during one of Helen's frequent trips to the hospital. "I hope she gets better soon, and not because we need her to clean our house. It's because she's got a big soul." I didn't know how right he was until last week. Suddenly, someone I mistook to be my housekeeper turned out to be my teacher.

At the funeral, Helen's sister told a story. A few weeks ago they were talking, and Helen said she'd been thinking a lot and wondering what was her purpose in life. She wasn't sure why God had put her here. A few nights later -- the Friday before she died -- she had a dream. In the dream, she was standing by a river and was surrounded by children, and the river flowed, and it was warm.

I've been standing by a river, watching, analyzing, developing theories and making recommendations. It's time to jump in.
salon.com | July 2, 1999

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