44 minutes. We're back. The newly departed chairman of the Republican National Committee, Sen. Mel Martinez of Florida, can be seen rushing back to his seat, perhaps from a potty break. Wallace introduces the Hillary Clinton round. He begins by telling Romney that Fox has a poll that shows Hillary Clinton would whoop his ass by 12 points if the election were held today. "Is Hillary Clinton fit to be commander in chief?" he asks. The crowd screams, "No!" in unison.
45 minutes. Romney rides the Hillary hatred. "She hasn't run a corner store. She hasn't run a state. She hasn't run a city. She has never run anything. And the idea that she could learn to be president, you know, as an internship, just doesn't make any sense," he says. Wow. This is a low blow. Romney has just evoked the image of an intern in the Oval Office while discussing Hillary Clinton. He might as well just pull out a blue dress and dribble some salad dressing on the stage.
48 minutes. Wallace says that McCain is running closest to Clinton in the Fox poll, losing by only three points. This gives McCain a chance to go after Clinton. "In case you missed it, a few days ago, Senator Clinton tried to spend $1 million on the Woodstock Concert Museum. Now, my friends, I wasn't there. I'm sure it was a cultural and pharmaceutical event," McCain says, before pausing a beat. "I was tied up at the time," he says. The whole place goes berserk. Most of the candidates onstage applaud former prisoner of war McCain. The entire crowd comes to its feet. Comedy springs from tragedy, and McCain has a deep well to draw from.
55 minutes. Paul finally gets a chance to rant against the war in Iraq. He does it by attacking Clinton for being too much like the Republicans. "Sen. Clinton has nothing new to offer," he says. "She's endorsing the same policy. She said that the troops would be there for another five years, continue to build this embassy that's going to be bigger than the Vatican." This is totally confusing to the Republican audience, which responds with boos.
60 minutes. Back in Boston, in the bottom of the second, shortstop Julio Lugo grounds into a double play, scoring Jason Varitek from third. Two to nothing, Red Sox.
69 minutes. Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo finally gets a chance to bring up immigration, this time in the context of a discussion of Social Security. It should also be noted that California Rep. Duncan Hunter is standing onstage, and sometimes he says stuff.
70 minutes. Second commercial break. Sox pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka is up against Casey Blake, who hits it through the middle for the Indians' first hit of the night. Then Blake takes second on a wild pitch. Two out in the top of the third. The debate will be on again soon. It's hard to change the channel back. Really hard. But democracy matters. There is a job to be done. Somebody has got to do it.
73 to 80 minutes. Questions are about Russia and Turkey. McCain said he sees the KGB when he looks into Vladimir Putin's eyes. Hunter says he wants to put missile defense missiles on a boat in the Black Sea. Thompson says the PKK, a Kurdish group battling the Turks near the Iraq border, are terrorists. Both Thompson and Tancredo agree that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is wrong to allow votes on a bill to condemn the Turkish genocide of Armenians nearly 100 years ago. Paul talks apocalyptic. "The war is spreading, the war is likely to go into Iran, nobody's willing to take anything off the table," he says.
85 minutes. Mike Lowell hits a sacrifice fly, scoring Kevin Youkilis from third. In the bottom of the third, three to nothing, Red Sox.
87 minutes. Thompson is asked if he is lazy. The crowd boos. "It's OK," says Thompson. "Let me answer." Then he rattles off his résumé, starting with his first marriage and child at the age of 17, his time as a lawyer, a U.S. attorney, a Watergate counsel, his two Senate victories, and his work as an advisor to the Bush administration. "If a man can do all that and be lazy, I recommend it to everybody," he says.
90 minutes. It's over. Say what you will about the Fox News Channel, but at least they limit their debates to 90 minutes. It's the top of the fourth at Fenway, three to nothing, but the Indians have a runner in scoring position. It's anybody's game, even though most of America thinks they already know who will win.
About the writer
Michael Scherer is Salon's Washington correspondent. Read his other articles here.
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