King Kaufman's Sports Daily

Garnett had seven assists in Game 3, yet another indicator of what a wonderful player he is. If he's not scoring, he's setting up his teammates. The problem is, any opponent would be thrilled to have Garnett setting up his teammates. Since the start of the Kings series, the Wolves are 5-5. In the five wins, Garnett has 137 points and 15 assists. In the five losses, he has 92 points and 27 assists.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that if you want to beat Minnesota, make Garnett pass the ball. Latrell Sprewell can still win a game for his team. Let him try.

So assuming Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant are going to do their thing, not a bad assumption given the way Bryant is playing and the fact that the Wolves have exactly no quality centers to slow down Shaq, and assuming that Malone and his helpers will keep Garnett from burning them, you have to like the Lakers' chances even without George and Payton having big games. If those two are playing well, it's a walkover.

Fortunately for the Timberwolves, you can never assume anything about the Lakers, and the Lakers rarely do anything twice in a row. Game 4 is Thursday night in Los Angeles. Who are you betting on to have a big game, Kevin Garnett or Gary Payton?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Flames win, breasts bared [PERMALINK]

A springtime ritual came to an end at my house Tuesday night with the season finale of "24." All basketball and hockey playoff games get the pause-button treatment while the wife and I follow Jack Bauer through another hour of another really bad day.

He's had three real stinkers now, but you know what? I'd take a Jack Bauer bad day, I really would. I'd take the stress, the guns held to my head, the serial kidnapping of my only child, the requirement that I kill innocent people from time to time, the fate of millions in my shaky, heroin-addicted hands. I'd take it all if I could, just for that one day, have the cellphone reception that guy gets.

Anyway, the Tampa Bay Lightning had a really bad day Tuesday (see how I did that, writing students?), losing at home to the Calgary Flames 4-1 in the opener of the Stanley Cup Finals.

This presumably set off much celebrating on 17th Avenue in Calgary, which gives me an excuse to pass along the link sent to me by several Calgarians, who are evidently very proud of their town for producing Flamesgirls, both the actual girls and the Web site named for them, which you'd be well advised not to visit while you're at work.

I mentioned last week that the National Post newspaper had reported a big dropoff in business in Calgary's strip clubs, and my Calgary readers suggested that the free shirt-lifting action out on 17th was the reason. It would also appear that the bra business is suffering in southern Alberta.

The big star of Tuesday's game was Calgary's big star, Jarome Iginla, who made the game's key play, a breakaway, short-handed goal that gave the Flames a 2-0 lead in the second period. I find it hard to believe that anyone who pays even casual attention to hockey is just now finding out about Iginla, but that's what the TV guys keep saying so it must be true.

Do yourself a favor if you don't know Iginla and tune in to the rest of this series, which figures to be a lot closer than that lopsided Game 1 would lead one to believe. And while you're at it check out my favorite Lightning, Martin St. Louis -- I'm assuming if you don't know Iginla you don't know St. Louis, whose name is not pronounced "Saint Lewis."

St. Louis -- "san l'w-EEE," and easy on that "n" -- is my favorite Lightning because he reminds me a tiny little bit of Marcel Dionne, hometown hockey hero of my youth, and also because he came up with Calgary, who let him get away, so that adds some spice to the story.

So you know who else Calgary let get away? Elisha Cuthbert, who plays the dumb, oft-kidnapped daughter of Jack Bauer on "24." She's a native daughter.

See how I brought that back around?

Previous column: All guarantees, guaranteed! Plus Reggie Miller

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Story finder (3 ways to search Salon)

Search terms:

Salon the Web

Salon Directory (browse by topic)