King Kaufman's Sports Daily
The Pistons and Pacers combine for records in scoring futility. They'd have to combine to beat the Lakers. Plus: The great Pitons.com caper?
June 2, 2004 | I'm writing this through tears.
That's because I just finished watching the Pistons eliminate the Pacers, and the thought of either of these teams beating the Lakers in the NBA Finals sent me into fits of laughter.
The Pistons will get the chance after beating the Pacers 4-2 Tuesday night. And that was the score of the game, not just the series.
No, I'm being silly. The actual final score Monday was 11-8. I've seen more scoring at a "Star Trek" convention, more good shots in the first five minutes of happy hour. In two of my college classes, I made more baskets than the two teams combined to make Monday, and one of those classes was held underwater.
Pistons coach Larry Brown summed up the excitement: "I guess if the series was going to end, this is the kind of game it should have ended with," he said.
The two teams went on a 3-point shooting spree at the end of the first half just to get to a combined 60 points, the lowest first-half total in playoff history. They had combined for the lowest half in playoff history in Game 2 when they scored 59 points in the second half. The first-half record that the teams broke Tuesday was set in the previous round by the Pistons and Nets, who combined for 62 points in the first half of Game 1 of their series.
So the Pistons are steaming into the Finals having contributed to three records for scoring futility in the last month, 50 years after the introduction of the 24-second clock should have set all records for scoring futility in concrete.
You're going to say it wasn't just bad offense in this series, that the two clubs' terrific defenses had something to do with the dearth of scoring, and you're going to be right. But still. At one point you could have laid all of the Pistons' missed shots end to end and they wouldn't have reached the outside of the rim.
Former Pistons coach Chuck Daly, sitting in the stands and apparently working Lenny Bruce's side of the street in a priest outfit, pointed out to ESPN's Jim Gray that whoever won this series was going to be relieved when they got to the Lakers because it was going to be easier to get shots. He also pretty much said it wouldn't matter.
"Truthfully I don't think they're going to beat them because they [the Lakers] have too many offensive people," Daly said before asking if Gray could help out with a little something for the lepers. Daly, who coached the Pistons to their two championships, pronounced himself "a big Detroit fan" and "a close friend" of Pacers coach Rick Carlisle, a former assistant of his. And even he couldn't bring himself to give one of those "wellllll, you never know!" type assessments.
Next page: Actually, you never DO know. Plus: Pitons.com? And: Lakers thoughts