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Recently in Salon People

Nothing Personal
Bill Bradley: Achingly funny and profound
Dish-lovin' gal stumped by stilted Stepford candidate. Plus: More proof there is no God: Survey shows the Donald nearly in a dead heat with Mini-Bush.

By Amy Reiter
[07/23/99]

My Lunch With
Paul Auster
The author of the recent novel "Timbuktu" and the screenplays for "Smoke" and "Blue in the Face" discusses cynicism, sentimentality, Brooklyn and the strange things he creates.

By Chris Colin
[07/23/99]

Nothing Personal
Jar Jar Binks to battle clap in D.C.
Rep. Coburn enlists "Phantom Menace" mob in STD wars; the queen's bowser was a boozer; 1,000-year-old king may be pushin' up pavement. Plus: New! Viagra for geraniums!

By Amy Reiter
[07/22/99]

Rogues' Gallery
The Kevlar dictator
Bullets can't touch him. He's impervious to poison. And bombs -- Ha! He laughs at your bombs!

By Douglas Cruickshank
[07/22/99]

Nothing Personal
End of civilization imminent
Proof that there is no God: Springer may run for Senate; Mary Bono denies bonkin' The Newt. Plus: Mira Sorvino's summer of the flesh-tone panties.

By Amy Reiter
[07/21/99]

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Reiter

Annie Rodham Hall?
Hillary's gonna have to make some hot 'n' heavy commodity trades to afford the Woodman's crib; Courtney Cox's glamour tips with matchsticks. Plus: bettin' the farm on a cleavage-enhancing bra!

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By Amy Reiter

July 26, 1999 | Attention, Hillary Rodham Clinton. If you're looking to own a prime piece of Manhattan real estate and get a little extra consummate New Yorker panache in the bargain (Bargain? Did someone say bargain?), you might consider scraping together $15 million and snapping up the fabulous Fifth Avenue apartment Woody Allen just put on the market in order to move into a family home with his wife/adoptive stepdaughter Soon-Yi Previn and their fresh baby girl, Bechet Dumaine.

One real estate agent describes the deluxe digs -- spacious 8-rm apt in prestige drmn bldg, Cent Prk vu, flr thru, frplc, 3,500ft terr with dsgnr garden -- as "a fabulous bachelor pad with fantastic views," but a spokesman for the first lady (who, incidentally, has no plans to change her name to Annie Rodham Hall at this time) told the press it would be "quite a stretch" for the likely senatorial candidate. Maybe Mia Farrow will loan her the cash.

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Breast for success

"I'm resting everything on this bra. If it goes wrong, we will lose it all -- the house, the business. But I am convinced it will work or I wouldn't be doing it."

-- Michelle Mone, inventor of the Ultimo bra, a soon-to-be-marketed-in-the-U.K. undergarment made with gel implants that are said to cup the breasts gently like a pair of hands and hold them up, on the risks she's taken to bring cleavage to the masses.

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Monica's makeup tips: Matchless but not scratchless

Anyone who's still embarrassed about having her hair snipped into that once ubiquitous shaggy-dog 'do called "The Rachel" will want to drop the "Friends" fashion guide and pay attention. (Still growing out those uneven strands? Don't blame me. I learned my lesson in star-locks replication after an ill-fated Dorothy Hamill cut -- "Why, what an adorable little boy!" -- in third grade.)




Amy Reiter

Amy Reiter's column appears daily on the People site, Monday through Friday.

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Got a hot tip? Tell Amy!



Newly hitched "Friends" star Courteney Cox has come under fire after recommending to her perpetually pouting co-star Jennifer Aniston that she use the carbonized tip of a burnt match as a substitute for eyeliner. (No, despite what the lugubrious-looking lower lids depicted in my rather raccoonish caricature may lead you to believe, I do not endorse such blatantly bizarre behavior. And might I point out that Cox and Aniston, both now rumored to be close to commanding a giddy $250,000 per episode, could each afford a whole frickin' eyeliner factory, provided they stop playing with matches.)

A leading Hollywood optician has decried the little matchstick girl's makeup method as "very dangerous," warning that the powdery carbons could become imbedded in the cornea. The bright side: At least you wouldn't have to waste your Thursday nights watching that silly show anymore.

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Sounds a little fishy

"She was not attempting to fish ... She was attempting to cast."

-- A quick-thinking aide for Madeleine Albright, angling to put a positive spin on the secretary of state's catch-free Alaskan salmon-fishing foray.

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Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! (Heaven forbid)

Well, it must be that whenever I think Jerry Springer, I think "vice." In a recent item on the possibility of a Springer run for Senate in 2000, I erroneously identified the TV trashmeister as a former vice mayor of Cincinnati, when in fact he was just plain ol' mayor. Perhaps I should go on Jerry's show and humbly offer myself up for a whooping.

And just so you know, the erstwhile politician had this to say about the Democratic Party's request that he consider a run to represent Ohio: "I'm obviously flattered and honored by the interest. It's just that at this time, I don't know whether it's practical or possible." But just think, Jer, this could be your steppingstone to the White House, where the service-minded gals make desk calls and don't require you to pay them ... not even by check.

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Juicy bits

You've got to get up pretty early on a Chelsea morning to put one over on Mohamed Al Fayed. The Harrods owner and dad of dead Di datee Dodi Fayed has filed suit in Los Angeles court against four frisky fellas who allegedly tried to sell him forged documents proving that Princess Diana and his son were murdered as part of a plan hatched by the CIA and British intelligence and that she was pregnant when she died. Whispers that it was Sir Elton John's baby are altogether unfounded and just plain weird.

It's at least as persistent and almost as pernicious -- although not nearly as delicious -- a rumor as Cindy Brady as porn star. But, according to Mama Cass Elliot's 32-year-old daughter, Owen Elliot Kugell, the long-held myth that the hefty Mama died by choking on a ham sandwich is just as untrue. Twenty-five years ago this week, Mama Cass died in London of a heart attack. The ham sandwich found near her very large corpse played no direct role in her demise, says Kugell, although the Mamas and the Papas member's hairdresser, who made the ham sandwich, has reportedly been wracked with guilt ever since her death. Hmmm ... could the distraught, ham-handed snipper be responsible for "The Rachel," too?
salon.com | July 26, 1999

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About the writer
Amy Reiter is a staff writer for Salon People. For more columns by Amy Reiter, visit her column archive.

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