To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > People Oct. 30, 1999 URL: http://www.salon.com/people/col/reit/1999/10/30/npw1030 Groupies, boobies, booty, mingling & movies! What if the Irish embassy threw a party for Gabriel Byrne and only the groupies came? Jennifer Love Hewitt talks titties with Maxim; when booty calls, Affleck scores; Jack Kemp mingles like he means it. Plus: Courtney Love's directorial debut -- in glorious plaid! - - - - - - - - - - - - By Amy Reiter If your seat belt wasn't fastened this week it should have been. In a mere five days, we rocketed from partying with Ireland's favorite son to news of Courtney Love's motion picture directorial debut. Squeezed in between were the breasts that Jennifer Love Hewitt either has or hasn't named, thoughts on political schmoozing and Ben Affleck's love life. What a ride! - - - - - - - - - - - - Monday: "Byrne, baby, Byrne!" Your designated party crasher has struck again. When I called ahead (well, two hours ahead) to see about getting into the Irish embassy's fete for actor Gabriel Byrne, the fellow on the phone sounded as stony as his lovely Irish lilt would allow. "It's not a press event," he informed me, ice crackling over the wire. "It's a social event. It's an opportunity for friends of the embassy to get together and to welcome Mr. Byrne." No prob, I said. "I just want to soak in the ambience." Byrne's halogen smile hadn't yet faded as he thanked me for coming. Then he signed my book, "To Amy. Love Gabriel ... X." And as I slipped (yes, a bit flush-faced) past the crowds of book-clutching young women, I thought, if you had to be someone's groupie, you could do worse than Gabriel Byrne. Read the entire Nothing Personal Column for Monday, Oct. 25. - - - - - - - - - - - - Tuesday: "What we talk about when we talk about breasts" Heard the one about Jennifer Love Hewitt naming her breasts Thelma and Louise? Not true. In the upcoming issue of Maxim, which features "Jennifer Love's FIRST men's magazine cover EVER!" the mag's PR people boast, the 20-year-old star clears up a few common misconceptions about her prize rack. It all started on the set of "I Know What You Did Last Summer." "All the girls wore tiny tops, so we called it 'I Know What Your Breasts Did Last Summer,'" explains Hewitt. "We made another joke that we'd name them, and I said mine were Thelma and Louise, but I was kidding. Now I read it everywhere and people getting autographs will ask, 'How are Thelma and Louise?'" Read the entire Nothing Personal Column for Tuesday, Oct. 26. - - - - - - - - - - - - Wednesday: "Armageddon laid!" Ben Affleck: Off-screen action hero? The "Good Will Hunting" star makes one thing perfectly clear in an upcoming Playboy interview: He's getting more booty than he knows what to do with. "Kevin Bacon once said, 'Anybody can get laid when they're famous. The champion thing is to get laid when you're not famous. That's what's really hard.' Boy, does that turn out to be true," says Affleck. "You can be seriously disfigured or whatever and women will still be attracted to you." Read the entire Nothing Personal Column for Wednesday, Oct. 27. - - - - - - - - - - - - Thursday: "Jack the vote" I want to take mingling lessons from Jack Kemp. At a cocktail party Tuesday night, the former GOP veep candidate and Bush Cabinet member somehow managed to meet just about everyone there. "Amy Reiter, Jack Kemp," he said, hand extended and shake ready. To my exotically named companion, he cooed, "Dominique, Dominique. I think I'll ask Joanne [his wife] to change her name to Dominique." Politics, shmolitics. Dominique and I were impressed by his interfacing! Not to mention his spiel ... Read the entire Nothing Personal Column for Thursday, Oct. 28. - - - - - - - - - - - - Friday: "Live through this Saturday night" Courtney Love will make her directorial debut ... with a film about the Bay City Rollers. Maybe she's a fool to love them, but the Hole rocker has apparently fallen hard for Caroline Sullivan's "Bye Bye Baby: My Tragic Love Affair With the Bay City Rollers," a new book about a teenage gal's obsession with the Scottish '70s band. From tart to tartan in one easy step. Read the entire Nothing Personal Column for Friday, Oct. 29. salon.com | Oct. 30, 1999