To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > People Jan. 27, 2000 URL: http://www.salon.com/people/col/reit/2000/01/27/np0125 A few good young guns at the firm A slap in the face and a sock in the pants: Tom Cruise gets his Calvins in a wad over "Magnolia" fluffed-or-stuffed controversy. Plus: Papa Leo? Virginie Ledoyen denies paternity rumors in the cutest French accent. - - - - - - - - - - - - By Amy Reiter Geez, a guy tries to help you get the "naughty sauce you need" and what happens? People accuse him of stuffing his shorts. Tom Cruise is apparently none too pleased with speculation that the honking bulge in his Jockeys revealed during a scene in Paul Thomas Anderson's "Magnolia" was about as real as, say, Mark Wahlberg's prosthetic schlong in Anderson's "Boogie Nights." U.K. entertainment site Empire Online reports that the actor is "seeking legal advice over the issue of the contents of his pants" in the film, and he's already sicced his lawyers on E! Online gossip columnist Ted Casablancas for suggesting that Cruise's extra-large frankfurter was mostly filler. "You'd think I'd said he didn't even have baby-makin' pipes down there," snorted Casablancas. The veracity of Cruise's membership ("It is not Marky Mark, and I am not close to that area of uh, of uh -- what he was carrying," he modestly told Newsweek last month) was backed up by his publicist, Pat Kinglsey; his costar, April Grace; Anderson; and at least one member of the "Magnolia" film crew. "Tom Cruise did not wear anything extra in his pants," Kingsley barked to the Web site Fashion Wire Daily. "To my knowledge there was nothing there but Tom," confirmed Grace. "Tom Cruise is the biggest movie star in the world," Anderson told the Village Voice. And set production assistant Kerry Fitzmaurice told Fashion Wire Daily that, while everyone on the "Boogie Nights" set knew about Wahlberg's fake-o phallus, in Cruise's case, "I don't think there was a prosthesis." However, Fitzmaurice does "think Tom was slightly fluffed, if you know what I mean. And I think Nicole is probably pretty satisfied." In other words, it's a real top gun. - - - - - - - - - - - - What becomes a legend most? "My ass, because it's the biggest part of my body. If I can't hide from it, I have to celebrate it." -- Iman, extolling the virtues of her "best body part," in Allure. - - - - - - - - - - - - The debunking continues ... So what of all those tabloid stories accusing Leonardo DiCaprio of knocking up his "Beach" costar Virginie Ledoyen during the film shoot? "Boo-shit," Ledoyen tells Details. "Complete boo-shit." The French actress says the rumors are "so huge and so wrong and so fake, it's ridiculous!" Now, why does that sound so familiar? - - - - - - - - - - - - A tube of "Brown Sugar" and a stick of "Paint It Black"? "He did not sit at home and think, 'How can I market a new lip-gloss?'" -- Mick Jagger's spokesman, explaining that the mouthy Rolling Stone registered his name as a trademark for a range of products, including cosmetics, only to prevent other entrepreneurs from doing so. - - - - - - - - - - - - Juicy Bits Suddenly stalker: Mark Bailey, who is accused of harassing Brooke Shields for more than a year, proclaimed his innocence Tuesday in a Los Angeles court. Don't tell me he's another crazed Steffi Graf fan? Things apparently got a little too spicy for Sporty Spice when Howard Stern flung a few sex questions at her during an interview last week. According to dotmusic.com, Stern started by asking Melanie Chisholm "At what age did you get pubes?" and then followed with "Where's the best place to pleasure yourself?" "Have you ever had a lesbian experience?" and "Have you ever slept with a black guy?" She gamely answered "no" to those last two, but skipped the scene after Stern asked "Is penis size important?" Tom Cruise might have something to say about that. Matt LeBlanc is set to star as Lucy Liu's squeeze in the upcoming big-screen take on "Charlie's Angels." The "Friends" star will reportedly play an action-movie star unaware that Liu is a crime-fighter. All together now, "Hey, Angels, how you doin'?" Doh! IMAX announced this week it will team up with DreamWorks SKG, 20th Century Fox and Sony Pictures Imageworks to bring humongous 3-D versions of various famous animated characters -- like Homer Simpson -- to a supersize theater screen near you. A Biggie-size Bart, just what you always wanted. salon.com | Jan. 27, 2000   - - - - - - - - - - - - About the writer Amy Reiter is a staff writer for Salon People. For more columns by Amy Reiter, visit her column archive.