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People Feature
Why do elephants paint?
Well, because there's a shortage of jobs in the logging industry these days. And, no, as a matter of fact, they don't sell their canvases for peanuts.

By Elizabeth Bukowski
[03/23/00]

People Feature
Blame Canada? Hell, let's declare war!
It's a vile, cold, wooded wasteland populated with propaganda-spewing lumberjacks and their irritating ilk. Who needs it?

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Hugs 'n' drugs
Mackenzie Phillips: "My father taught me how to shoot up"; Halle Berry: Why do bad drivers happen to good dogs? Plus: Mariah Carey says ninth-graders are hotter than she is!

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People Feature
Where the boys are
A new wave of films shows a fresh element in filmmaking: The sexualization of the male actor by the female director.

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[03/22/00]

Nothing Personal
Another one cites the bust
"Love my breasts" disease strikes Zeta-Jones; Hef's a uniter, not a divider; and Beck on why he was bullied ... but in a fair way.

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[03/21/00]

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Amy Reiter

Thirsty heart
For The Boss, it's gotta be Hellmann's ... and orange bubbly. Plus: More mammarial madness from photogenic Scientologists! And: David Duchovny takes umbrage.

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By Amy Reiter

March 24, 2000 |  Bruce Springsteen: Born to make demands?

Word out of Arkansas is that when Springsteen played at Alltel Arena in Little Rock recently, his contract stipulated that the arena supply him with what has been described to me as "a special orange French champagne," along with chicken noodle soup and Hellmann's mayonnaise for his sandwiches.

"Arena employees searched the state for the champagne and found some at the legendary Capital Hotel, where national journalists from the Whitewater days once spent many a night drinking," Salon contributor Suzi Parker tells me, "but it wasn't the extra-dry brut that Springsteen stipulated."



Amy Reiter

Amy Reiter's column appears daily on the People site, Monday through Friday.

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Finally, Parker says, arena officials had to have some shipped in from the Peabody Hotel in Memphis -- at $900 a bottle.

Guess that's why they call him the Boss. Bruuuuuuut!

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Wigged-out

"I can turn it on and off. You should see me in the morning without my wig."

-- Hip-hop diva Lil' Kim on the similarities between her fabulosity and a light bulb, in Harper's Bazaar.

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Nutty with child

Welcome to today's episode of "Pregnant Celebs Say the Darnedest Things!"

When last we tuned in, expectant mama Catherine Zeta-Jones was grabbing her breasts and declaring her undying love for them.

Now, Kelly Preston has chimed in that, since she's with child, she, too, is feeling particularly mammarific -- a fact apparently not lost on her husband, John Travolta.

"I gotta say, my husband lo-o-oooves it when I'm pregnant," she tells Fit Pregnancy magazine. "He's like, 'Wow! How long do we get these? Do we have to give them back?'"

Ah, but if only that were the extent of the games hormones play. Preston also confesses that she's developed a craving for thinly sliced Spam ("It's better than bacon," she says) and an extreme aversion to ... "cubed food."

"Cubed meat, cubed cheese. Square food. Chef's salad at the cafeteria. I'm sorry food isn't meant to be square," she says, adding, however, that "square doesn't bother me in stew."

Perhaps these mamas-to-be should take a few coping tips from Annette Bening, now very, very pregnant with her and Warren Beatty's fourth child.

Her big problem? Her dogs are barking something fierce, but, she tells Us Weekly, "I have perfected the art of putting my feet in my husband's lap during award ceremonies so he can rub them." She'll keep her tootsies to herself at the Oscars, though, "except during commercial breaks, when the world isn't watching."

Well, that's a relief.

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He can feel it coming in the air tonight

"If I go and lose to Phil Collins. I'll wish I'd never been nominated."

-- "South Park" creator Trey Parker, whose song "Blame Canada" has been nominated for an Oscar, on his biggest Academy Award fear, in the Toronto Sun.

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Basket o' cheer

A Seattle charity group called World Concern has given your mom's favorite dinnertime rant -- "That food you left on your plate could feed an entire family in Africa" -- a whole new Oscar night twist.

The group, which aims to help poor people help themselves, estimates that the basket of luxury goodies (including a $1,700 watch, an $850 charm bracelet, a $500 cell phone and a $450 pen) being given to each Oscar presenter this year is worth $6,300 -- enough to buy goats to feed 180 Haitian families for life or to rescue 15 girls from a life of prostitution in Ethiopia.

Something to think about when that concerned presenter launches into his diatribe about the plight of the naked mole-rat in central Somalia, anyway ...

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No gift basket for Mulder

"I hate the aspect of show business where actors are like kept concubines -- they get a car or an all-expenses trip to Hawaii. It's ridiculous. Just pay me the money on my contract and don't treat me like a prostitute. Don't give me a car and a necklace and fuck me, which is what they are doing."

-- David Duchovny, putting the truth out there about being treated like a ho, in Movieline.

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Juicy bits

Advice to Leelee Sobieski: Keep your day job; you're no Jewel. The 17-year-old actress shares snippets of her poetry in an upcoming Parade magazine, and it sure is somethin': "Yelling slowly/She walked around,/Sound emitting from her kidneys,/Painful noise,/Without baby tremors,/His name could have been Troy,/Not the horseman, what?" What?

You can't always get what you want, but Luciana Morad wants the world to know that her fling with Mick Jagger, which has yielded the non-couple a baby boy, was more than a one-nighter. "I hate everybody saying I had a one-night stand. It's not true. I had a relationship with him for a long time," Morad told the U.K. Express. "I met him in March 1998 and I had a baby in May 1999. Work it out. That means I had a relationship with him for at least seven months." You do the math.
salon.com | March 24, 2000

 

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About the writer
Amy Reiter is a staff writer for Salon People. For more columns by Amy Reiter, visit her column archive.

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