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Nothing compares 2 a big promotion
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April 20, 2000 | Q
Online reports that Mother
Bernadette Mary (aka Sinéad
O'Connor) has been promoted by
the
Tridentine Church, the Catholic splinter
group that ordained her as a priest a
year ago. Her new title: archdeacon. Tridentine Archbishop Michael
Cox, notorious for taking
confessions over the phone, has also
made the singer an honorary
doctor of divinity in divine healing. "Sinéad has been given special powers of
healing," contends the archbishop. "She
has a very good spirit. This appointment
is
because of her work with the sick and
the homeless in Dublin." Cox plans to travel to Dublin to present
O'Connor with an official certificate.
"These are 100 percent genuine
documents," he says.
"They have been validated by the Sacred
Council of Trent." Just so long as she doesn't tear them up
on live TV ... - - - - - - - - - - - - Wannabe "I'd like to be a female Sly
Stallone, or Bruce Willis'
sidekick in a film where I get to save
the world." -- Sporty Spice Mel C on her
on-screen ambitions, in the British
magazine Hello! - - - - - - - - - - - - Lofty
ambitions: Squashed Money can't buy you love ... and fame
can't buy you co-op board approval. Heather Graham and Edward Burns' bid for the $2 million
Tribeca loft
formerly owned by
John F. Kennedy Jr. and
Carolyn Bessette
has been turned down. It seems the
building's co-op board just didn't think
the celebrity couple was right for the
place. "We won't be living there,
unfortunately," Graham told Fashion Wire
Daily. "We didn't get it." Oh, the woes of Manhattan real estate. - - - - - - - - - - - - What part of "woman woman" don't you
understand? "I'll tell you who I think is incredibly
sexy: Susan Sarandon. She is a
woman woman. And Sharon Stone. I
like her ... You know how a little girl
cannot be a woman but a woman can be a
little girl? That's a quality I like in
these women." -- Matthew McConaughey on
Hollywood actresses he digs, in the
upcoming Us Weekly. - - - - - - - - - - - - The
horrors of huskihood Is Jon Favreau a fat man trapped
in a leading man's body? At a party for the upcoming flick "East
to East" this week, the "Swingers" star
told gossip conduit Baird Jones
that, although he
lost almost 50 pounds for a recent role,
he feels that "underneath I am a fat
person." "I was a fat person as a kid, and after
my casting days are over I am absolutely
certain I will again be a fat person,"
says Favreau. "I
intend to let it all go and just waddle
around the backyard." Go ahead, call him "lard ass." Just
don't call him ... "husky." "I just hate, hate, hate the word
'husky,'" he says. "Like when a store
sells clothing 'husky size' or a food in
a restaurant is called a
'husky serving.' 'Fat' or 'jumbo' or
'hefty' completely roll off me but I
just hate that word 'husky.'" Got that? - - - - - - - - - - - - Juicy
bits Did Montel Williams' estranged
wife, Grace, really throw the
talk show host's clothes out the window
of their $10
million Connecticut home when she
decided it was time to split? Absolutely
not, she says, "I put his stuff out
neatly, covered with plastic
so it was protected until it was
collected." What's more, she tells the
San Jose Mercury News, divorce or no
divorce, their hearts will go
on: "Psychics say the two of us have
been together in every life before this
one. Between us, we've had 60 lives and
in each we've been
together." No wonder she got bored. Little Lourdes may soon have a
little ... brother. The U.K. Sun reports
that Madonna's expecting a baby
boy. I'd say
they have a 50-50 chance of being
correct. The wood man and the hollow man are
about to get a little competition from a
plastic doll. A nonprofit,
nonpartisan women's group called the
White House
Project has teamed up with Mattel to
market a "Barbie for President" doll,
due out next month. The group's
president, Marie
Wilson, told Reuters, "President
Barbie represents possibilities --
and girls need to know that becoming
president is
possible." But only if your measurements
are 38-18-24.
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