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Nothing Personal
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Puffy uses flower power
Jennifer Lopez on "spending the whole day in bed with my lover"; "SNL" ready to inaugurate President Cheney. Plus: Dubya makes Bo Derek cry!

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By Amy Reiter

Jan. 23, 2001 | Is everybody listening? Jennifer Lopez wants to talk about love.

"Of course, I believe in love at first sight," the bootyful actress/singer tells the Calgary Sun. "It happened to me with my first husband. It was real and it was intense. It just didn't last.

"Love at first sight is something that happens to both people simultaneously," she continues. "It's like a lightning bolt."

But -- bad news for the Puffster -- lightning may not have struck twice. Lopez says she's not ready to get married again just yet. She's just a tad too focused on her career at the moment.

Still, she says, "I am a die-hard romantic ... Puffy understands that. For my last birthday, he covered my hotel room floor with rose petals and had flowers and candles all over the room."

And talk about flower power. "I love the idea of spending the whole day in bed with my lover," Lopez shares. "I'm never afraid to get close to someone. I'm not afraid of love."

Or of thorns.

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Channeling Gomer Pyle?

"Oh, gosh golly."

-- Julia Roberts, accepting her Golden Globe award for best actress for "Erin Brockovich."

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Top Dick?

Al Gore wasn't the only one wearing a stiff smile as President Bush got sworn into office over the weekend. "Saturday Night Live" cast member Darrell Hammond feels the former veep's pain -- deeply and personally.

Hammond, who played President Clinton for five years and was just putting the finishing touches on his President Gore impersonation, had a severe case of impressionus interruptus when Gore conceded the election. Now, Will Ferrell, who has mastered Bush's vacant stare and rampant malapropism, has snagged the presidential spotlight -- and Hammond is left to pick up the splinters and go on.

"There's no question both of us wanted to play the president," Hammond tells TV Guide. "I was loving playing Gore. I felt like I'd learned a sport, began to love the sport and then was asked to stop playing."

But Hammond, who's now working overtime to perfect his impression of Dick Cheney, says he, not Ferrell, may get the last presidential laugh .

"Our take is that they marked [Bush] brilliantly, but the de facto president will be Dick Cheney," he says. "In the Oval Office, Cheney will be the one working at the large desk, and off to the right will be a collapsible card table where George will have his hobbies and his summits."

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When black and blue isn't enough

"They should be shot.''

-- Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher on the Backstreet Boys.

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Out of the Woods?

That GOP poster girl Bo Derek was moved by George W. Bush's inaugural address is hardly a surprise. (''I loved the speech ... I cry any time former President Bush cries. He got choked up, and I went right along with him," the erstwhile perfect 10 gushed to the Washington Post.)

But who would have predicted that President Newly Sober and Born Again would have Hollywood bad boy James "I like fucking!" Woods on his side?

''Give Bush 10 minutes before you hammer him. I think he's going to surprise people," Woods begged the public via the New York Daily News. "He sounds simple and uncomplicated, but maybe that's what we need now. He's not as stupid as everyone thinks. I like the guy.''

And with an endorsement like that ...

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Laughing all the way to the big house?

"I just want to share this with my fellow parolees... I mean nominees."

-- Robert Downey Jr., accepting his Golden Globe award for supporting actor in a TV series, for his role in "Ally McBeal."

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Juicy bits

Catherine Zeta-Jones is worried. Very worried. She fears that fame will take its toll on her baby boy, Dylan. "In two years' time I want to be able to take my son to the park and not have to explain why 20 people with cameras are running after us," the actress recently told the press. "I hope the frenzy will die down so he won't have to sacrifice the good things just because photographers are documenting his every move." Big talk for a woman who sold little Dylan's baby pics for a cool mill.

Spoons might not be the only bent thing at Uri Geller's upcoming nuptials. London's News of the World reports that the Israeli psychic has asked Michael Jackson to be a chupah holder when he and his wife of 10 years exchange vows in a traditional Jewish ceremony in England in March. "It is going to be a very quiet and spiritual event," Geller said of the renewal of vows. "Michael and I go back many years; we have done spiritual things together. We are very close." Now, now ... not that close.

A sad day for armpit smellers. Molly Shannon has announced that she's leaving the cast of "Saturday Night Live" on Feb. 17 to focus on making feature films. Guess after seven years on the show she's finally ready for prime time.

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Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.

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About the writer
Amy Reiter is a senior writer for Salon People. For more columns by Amy Reiter, visit her column archive.

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