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Letter from occupied Bel-Air | page 1, 2

Right off, our ship was out in rocky seas and no one knew where she was headed or who was driving. Luckily, Trey and Matt were light and funny and the clip of Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride broke some tension. Before that, all you could hear while people spoke was clanking silverware. The one place you don't want diversity on a night like that is where they had it in spades: talent level. I mean, no matter how you slice it, Paul Rodriguez is not funny. He was, unfortunately, the emcee.

Martin Landau was there, however. What I like most about him (aside from his performance in "Ed Wood") is that his wife has got to be 28, tops. Go Martin! And that Sally Kirkland is a bouncy, flouncy fireball! Is flouncy a word? She came over pouring copiously out of her dress to meet Trey and Matt. It was a sight. But the sweetest moment came when a very small, very cute Native American girl in a pretty white dress shyly approached Matt and Trey and gave them each a bear claw necklace. They each knelt down and got pictures. Priceless!

Oh, and something else noteworthy happened at the "Three Kings" premiere that I forgot to mention when I wrote you last. The film ended and our friend Amy (who is George Clooney's right-hand woman) sees us and immediately gets on the L.A. headset and Presto! the six of us are riding in a limo to the party. Awesome. So we're talking about the movie and basically we all hated it. (Jennifer tried to like it a little, for George's sake, and he was great in it -- it was the director who killed it.) Then Trey, who hasn't seen a movie in a movie theater (besides his own) in over a year says, "I'm sitting there watching the film, and I'm saying to myself, None of this ever really happened!"

At home, all we ever watch is "Investigative Reports" and "Biography" and "American Justice." So when you see a dead body in a movie, it seems silly in a way because you've seen the real thing. Verisimilitude seems silly when you've got A&E.

Anyway, George rocked in the movie. He's a stabilizing force. When Spike Jonze's character is freaking out before a battle with Iraqi bad guys and wondering why courage is not kicking in, George looks him square in the eye and says, roughly, "No, you're nervous before a fight and you do your best. The courage comes after." And you think, I'd follow this man into hell if he told me it was necessary. Only someone who has been through the ringer can deliver lines in such a way. Which makes me nervous, because apparently George wants to take Trey out for his 30th birthday, and Trey seems to think we can teach George a thing or two about partying. I just hope I live through it. If you don't hear from me in a couple weeks ... call someone.

Love,

David

P.S. I just got back from Trey's house on Kauai and have many mischievous stories to relate. However, I no sleepy yet. More later.
salon.com | Oct. 22, 1999

 

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About the writer
David Goodman, like Steven Spielberg before him, grew up in Haddonfield, N.J. He writes for "South Park."

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