This is happening all around you. That woman's hairdo? Gay. That book jacket? Gay. The fact that Dick and Lynne Cheney won't talk about their lesbian daughter? Gay gay gay.

"I use it so much I don't even think about it. It's like coughing," says Jose Muņoz, associate professor at New York University and author of "Disidentifications: Queers of Color and the Performance of Politics."

"Everyone loves it," says Cris Beam, a 28-year-old writer in Los Angeles. "I remember saying it at the Gay Pride Parade this year and it was hilarious -- everyone was so thrilled to have it come back, because we'd all forgotten about it. We wanted to say it again and again and again."

And it's not just gay people who are saying it. Those gay-acting straight men are saying it, as are straight women who either have a critical mass of gay friends or have slept with enough women that they feel they can say whatever the hell they want.

"There are so many boundaries that people my age, especially girls my age, don't really recognize," says 25-year-old Sunny Neater, an artist in Chicago. "The whole labeling of gay, queer, whatever seems looser."

"That is so gay" has made a few pop culture appearances, too. In the movie "Loser," one of the geeky hero's cool roommates tells him not to be "so gay." On an episode of "The Simpsons," Nelson kisses Lisa and his friends say, "Ewww, you're kissing a girl, that's gay." Will, of "Will and Grace," told his best friend that his outfit was "so gay."

This small linguistic revolution is, of course, part of the tradition of groups using derogatory names among themselves. But it's also different: The closest approximation to "wop" or "nigger" isn't "gay" but "faggot" or "dyke" -- both of which have gone through their own, separate reintroductions into gay, and gay-friendly, vocabularies.

The difference between "faggot" and "That is so gay" is that the former has a long and nasty association with violence; it's a word adults use and have used for other adults. By contrast, "That is so gay" evokes childhood -- a time that may have been painful but is long past. That distance makes it possible not only to reclaim the phrase but also to reclaim it as an insult.

The result is that it's completely different from the heartfelt "I'm gay and I'm proud" of the gay rights movement. "That is so gay" is simply gleeful in a way that none of the empowering words is. It's insult as pick-me-up.

"I feel happier and more sprightly every time I say it," says David Rakoff, 35, a writer in New York.

Why is this so fun?

Picture life at 9, 15, 18 years old: You live at home, you go to school every day and you know you're different. You're gay. All you want is not to be gay. You're afraid all the time that someone might find out. Maybe you're getting harassed or beat up already.

"I do remember hearing 'That's so gay' as a kid; I remember saying it as a kid," says Beam. "And I always had this vague flutter inside that it might mean me, but I wasn't quite sure why."

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