Now comes Dennis Rodman, a retiring soul, a humble practitioner of the game of basketball, and one of the soberest, most level-headed, and thriftiest men to walk the planet since Benjamin Franklin (who was also known to attract lightning). Last Oct. 3, it seems that Rodman was having a bit of supper or perhaps a soothing beverage when a $100 bill -- a Ben Franklin, if you will -- slipped from his grasp, sailed through the breezy Sunset Strip hotel where the hardliest working man in Hoopdom was enjoying a few moments of peace, and, with the accuracy and homing skill of a Scud missile, descended directly into the brassiere of a waitress named Susan Patterson.

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Now, Rodman is a wealthy man, but he's not so wealthy that he discards $100 bills willy-nilly. So, as anyone would, he immediately endeavored to retrieve his errant currency. Unfortunately, and much to his surprise and embarrassment, no doubt, the brassiere, or cup thereof, in which the bill had lodged itself, happened to be occupied by one of Patterson's breasts at the exact same moment that Rodman found his hand wandering about, somewhat desperately I should think, trying to retrieve his property.

Well, as you can imagine, once he grasped the fullness of the situation, he became flustered, and of course he couldn't really see what he was doing because it's quite dark inside a brassiere, and, anyway hands don't have eyes. Then, not surprisingly, in his haste and disorientation, Rodman's hand -- lost in the dark as it were -- mistook Patterson's breast for the $100 bill and seized it. At which point it became abundantly clear to Rodman that what he'd initially identified as a small, valuable slip of paper was in fact a fully developed female breast. He was, I'm sure, mortified. It was an odd and awkward chain of events, to be sure, but entirely understandable when carefully explained.

Except to the hot-headed, unreasonable Patterson, who alleges that Rodman's actions were intentional. Patterson, who seems inordinately judgmental and hasty in forming conclusions, claims that Rodman, who was employed by the Chicago Bulls at the time, actually stuffed the $100 bill down her blouse and availed himself of a freelance fondle or two while he was at it. Fortunately, Patterson has acquired the services of attorney Gloria Allred, known to be something of a peacemaker, and I'm sure the whole confusing business will get straightened out when, with Rodman's counsel helping out, they all get together for that very reason in a Santa Monica courtroom on Sept. 22.

Finally, some good news: The old Las Vegas is comin' back! In recent years the town that Bugsy Siegel put on the map, and Sinatra's Rat Pack turned into a Mecca of custom-tailored sharkskin pre-hippie hip, has been in danger of becoming a fun 'n' fluffy family fun park. However, in the past few months, the City That Can't Say No has rolled over to have its dark underbelly scratched and all sorts of interesting critters have come crawling out.

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