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People Feature
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For example, a couple of weeks ago near Boston, in Braintree, Mass., Raymond Scott, 33, a hip-hop artist who calls himself Raydog, and, coincidentally, is African-American, was pulled over for speeding, which seems reasonable enough. But here's the twist: He wasn't in a car. In fact he wasn't operating a vehicle of any kind. He was in a Macy's department store.

Ignoring that technicality for the moment, understand that once authorities got the rascal to halt in a shadowy aisle halfway between men's swimsuits and ladies foundation garments, they found Raydog was in possession of an American Express card! What's worse, he had attempted to charge more than $1,500 on the card with his accomplice, Trevor Watson -- a suspicious-sounding name if ever I heard one.

What attracted the attention of the sharp-eyed store security, Macy's spokesman Tim Ray explained to the Boston Herald, was that Raydog and Watson were making their purchases very quickly. Indeed, from the sound of it they were grabbing their selections with little appreciation for Macy's attractive lighting, variety of products offered or fetching display motifs. Ray also told the newspaper that the men's fashion sense alarmed one of Macy's clerks. No specifics were given, but it may well be that the duo attempted to purchase a shirt that clashed with a pair of slacks, or perhaps jammies that didn't go with a robe.

Naturally, the police were called and they stealthily intercepted Raydog as he was attempting to make his escape. At that point, according to Lt. Russell Jenkins, Raydog got a little snappy, so they subdued him with pepper spray. Raydog claims the police beat him and dragged him away, and that he was singled out by the store because of his race. The cops charged him with assault. Raydog plans to sue.

Now, in a controversial case like this one, the facts -- the essence of the infraction -- can quickly get lost, so let's review. First, a minor point: the American Express card belonged to Raydog and the merchandise that he purchased with it was rightfully his. Who knows why Raydog and Watson were racing around Macy's making their purchases? If motives for purchases and the relative rate of speed (or lack thereof) at which they're made can be considered violations of the criminal code, my Aunt Edna's headed for Sing Sing.

Frankly, issues of racism aside, I applaud Macy's and the Braintree police. I see people of all ethnicities on the street every day who dress in such appalling style that I think they deserve a good squirt of pepper spray, even a cuff to the cabeza. I saw a human of some kind just this morning who was wearing khaki slacks with a polo shirt and Sperry Topsiders -- the sort of nauseating sexless, shapeless L.L. Bean drag that should be punishable by one or more statutes and public flogging. Unfortunately I was late for work at the time or I would have leapt from the car and maced the tasteless cretin myself -- even though I don't approve of vigilante justice.

Finally, what the Raydog confrontation brings up is a much greater issue that our society must face sooner or later -- and act on. Granted, it may be unpopular to some, but shouldn't we be policing this type of offense more rather than less? With the exception of people of Japanese lineage, shouldn't all non-whites found golfing be closely questioned? And certainly African-Americans at Billy Ray Cyrus concerts should be singled out for interrogation. And of course doing the Macarena while Korean should be cause for police intervention, as should performing the hula while Eskimo. Elderly Chinese women wandering Las Vegas casinos but refusing to play the slots should be arrested on sight. And whites who can clap on the beat and don't bite their lower lip while playing air guitar should be summarily incarcerated. Australians who can carry on a conversation below 20 db should definitely be viewed with suspicion. And as for courteous Parisians, I say no punishment is too severe.

The list could go on, of course -- endlessly -- but this is a campaign for our statesmen to debate, not a controversy to be settled by humble scribes or store clerks.
salon.com | July 15, 1999

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