Why I, Mandy Moore, am not voting for Jackson Kirk Grimes, presidential nominee of the United Fascist Union Party

For immediate release to the Mandy Moore Fan Club listserve

OK! So here I am writing to you from my tour in Mexico City and I wish I could tell you all that it's, like, beautiful here, but it's not. It SUX!!! Cuz there's, like, so many poor (and really dirty, yucko!) people all over the place, and it's more polluted than Los Angeles even (thank God for Neutrogena Clean & Clear -- yay! -- or you could start driving an Aztek through my pores), which makes it kinda depressing (and sucky). But this weekend some of my BFs (best friends) and me are heading over to Cozumel for some sun and fun (and just maybe some boyz, hahaha!), which will be totally KEWL!

So anyway, it's time to get serious for a minute here, gang, because the election is peeking around Mr. Corner and my www.mandymoore.com webmaster (hi, Earl!) says that 12.2 percent of you are old enough to vote and that at least 45 percent of that group isn't Web surfing from prison, which means that a whole big lot of you have a HUGE decision to make on Nov. 7, and I'm telling you that no matter what you do, don't vote for Jackson Kirk Grimes of the United Fascist Union Party, because if you do, it would, like, just break my heart in pieces completely.

Now I can't talk about the details. Why? Cuz there's a whole bunch of lawyerey and policyey stuff going on, but trust me when I tell you that this guy is just a major league CREEPO and does not belong as the leader of the free world. If I were the prez, LOL! :) :) I wouldn't even let him own a camera!

Of course I totally dig the third-party candidacy concept thing, cuz, I mean, how boring if we only had room for the Britneys and the Christinas, but if you're going to run up against the two-party monolith (huge thanx to my biggest fan, Tammi T., for that Word-a-Day calendar, cuz learning rox! Stay in school!), do it like 1980 presidential candidate John Anderson by building a coalition of independent voters forged on the basis of shared values and specific policy initiatives, rather than as part of a grass-roots putsch designed to install JACKSON KIRK GRIMES THE CREEPO! as the leader of a totalitarian state where it's illegal to wear underpants!

I just know you'll do this for me, cuz you guyz were just so AWESOME when I asked you to vote for me in the Teen World Online "Who's the Prettiest New Songbird" contest and we totally harshed that whore Jessica Simpson (just kidding, she's like sooooooo supersweet, really, really pretty too and not fat at all!!!). But this is even more important because IF JACKSON KIRK GRIMES WERE PRESIDENT IT WOULD JUST SUCK SO HARD! :( :( :( !!!!!!!!!!!

Just remember, everyone, Al Gore is the real poo -- smell it!

Mandy XOXOXOXO

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