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Also Today

For a full list of today's Salon Arts & Entertainment stories, go to the Arts & Entertainment home page.

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Blue Cheese
Salon's TV picks for Saturday, April 1, 2000

Series
The turbulent career of Zamfir, master of the pan flute, is chronicled on a new episode of Behind the Muzak (8 p.m., VH1). Silent "NYPD Blue" receptionist John Irvin -- or "Gay John," as the cops on the show call him -- finally finds his voice in the "Blue" spinoff GAYPD Blue (9 p.m., ABC). Created by Steven Bochco and David Milch as part of ABC's new commitment to diversity, "GAYPD Blue" promises to be a sensitive and realistic portrayal of gays and lesbians -- "or as realistic as a couple of straight guys can make it!" explains Milch in a press release for the show. "Hey, live and let live, that's my motto. Did I mention I'm straight?" In "GAYPD Blue," Gay John (Bill Brochtrup) completes grueling courses in police procedure and feng shui to win a spot on the NYPD's elite "Swish Squad," where he goes undercover to protect meek, sexless homosexuals like himself from those militant gay types who make TV producers nervous. Cast regulars include Mango as Guava, John's tempestuous cross-dressing informant, and k.d. lang as the no-nonsense Sgt. Dyke. The new series Emergency Beauticians (9 p.m., The Learning Channel) is fast-paced real-life action in the tradition of such Learning Channel hits as "Trauma: Life in the ER" and "Paramedics." Filmed on location at real beauty salons across the country, "Emergency Beauticians" takes you along as dedicated hair stylists race against time to tame frizzies, correct do-it-yourself coloring disasters and perform life-saving total makeovers.

Dateline NBC (9 p.m., NBC) has a hidden-camera investigation into stuff that explodes when you pour gasoline on it and light a match. The new David E. Kelley series Lesbians for the Defense (9 p.m., Fox) stars Gina Gershon, Scary Spice and Anna Kournikova as beautiful lesbian lawyers who moonlight as mud-wrestlers. Complicating matters: They're dating each other! In the first episode, Tippy (Gershon) and P.J. (Spice) clash over courtroom strategy when they take the case of a woman accused of being fat (guest Camryn Manheim). Meanwhile, Svetlana (Kournikova) tries unsuccessfully to keep things professional when a sexy older judge (guest Susan Dey) calls her into chambers. 20/20 (10 p.m., ABC) exposes shocking hazing rituals at Ringling Bros. Barnum and Bailey Clown College. In the new game show Yank Ben Stein's Chain (10:30 p.m., Comedy Central), contestants try to put a fast one over on the droll former Nixon speechwriter, but the joke's on them because he's a big, conceited know-it-all!

Specials
Saddam Hussein, Slobodan Milosevic and Moamar Gadhafi reveal their softer sides in Barbara Walters' 10 Most Fascinating Despots (8 p.m., ABC). Some of the top names in skating compete in the Olestra World Professional Over-the-Hill Figure Skating Challenge (8 p.m., Lifetime). All eyes will be on Tonya Harding as she attempts another brave comeback; she'll be skating to a medley of Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" and AC/DC's "Highway to Hell." Harding is expected to face tough competition from Oksana Baiul, who has added a complicated new triple-crowd-milk to her routine, and the ever-graceful Katarina Witt, who is using a winch and a crane to put some height into her jumps this year. In the men's competition, France's Philippe Candeloro, who dazzled the crowd with his "Braveheart" reenactment earlier this year, will debut his new "Silence of the Lambs" routine; hopefully, his restraint mask and straitjacket won't impede his spectacular jumps.

The new TV movie One More Day at a Time (9 p.m., CBS) revisits plucky single mom Ann Romano (Bonnie Franklin) and her daughters Julie (Mackenzie Phillips) and Barbara (Valerie Bertinelli) 16 years after their popular sitcom went off the air. Julie, now a crank-addicted grandmother of seven, moves her brood in with Ann -- who was looking forward to a peaceful retirement! Meanwhile, soccer mom Barbara is tormented by recovered memories of Schneider's sexual abuse. The WB's first made-for-TV movie, The Sexiest Man Alive or Dead: The John F. Kennedy Jr. Story (9 p.m., WB), stars "Dawson's Creek's" James Van Der Beek as JFK Jr. and "Buffy's" Sarah Michelle Gellar as his wife, Carolyn Bessette. Although John-John met a tragic end, WB promises the movie won't bum you out or anything. "It's mostly about the clothes," says WB promotions department intern Jude "Skippy" Goldstein-Vasquez. With "Angel's" David Boreanaz as JFK, "Charmed's" Alyssa Milano as Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis and "Felicity's" Keri Russell as Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg.

There's yet another Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony (10 p.m., VH1). Since the financially strapped Hall of Fame decided to raise money by holding benefit galas four times a year instead of one, you have to admit the pickings are getting a little, well, slim. Still, tonight's batch of inductees is the strongest in months: Air Supply, Ten Years After, Mac Davis (finally making it on his 12th try), A Taste of Honey, Mr. Mister, Lou Bega (he was such a popular choice, the rules committee waived the usual six-month waiting period between debut and induction) and Jermaine Jackson (solo).

Sports

Roller baseball:
L.A. Glitzz vs. Orlando Fightin' Goofys (7:30 p.m., ESPN)

Sock hockey:
Toronto Eh's vs. Boston Wicked Pissahs (7:30 p.m., ESPN2)

Power typing:
N.Y. Qwerty vs. Seattle Ergonomics (7:30 p.m., ESPN3)

Talk

Rosie O'Donnell (syndicated) The Olsen Twins, Alan Greenspan
Oprah Winfrey (syndicated) Thomas Pynchon visits Oprah's Book Club
David Letterman (CBS) Stupid Pet Owners
Jay Leno (NBC) Susan Lucci, kid chefs, zoo animals, Carrot Top (endless loop rerun)
Politically Incorrect (ABC) Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Jesse Helms, David Duke, Pat Buchanan, Jorge Haider, Idi Amin, Pol Pot, Hitler
Charlie Rose (PBS) Round table discussion: "Can a geezer like me score with a hot young babe if he fawns all over her and tells her she's a serious actress?" Panelists: Charlize Theron, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Liv Tyler

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