 | |||||
|
Sex & Entertainment Sex & Books Sex & Comics Sex & Health Sex & Media Mothers Who Have Sex Sex & News Sex & People Sex & Politics2000 Sex & Technology - Free Sex Sex & Travel  Sex & Columnists
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Also Today For a full list of today's Salon People stories, go to the
People home page. - - - - - - - - - - - - Search Salon Complete archives for Sex & People - - - - - - - - - - - - |
Breast of times, worst of times
- - - - - - - - - - - - April 1, 2000 |
Geez! Talk about angry nipples!
Catherine Zeta-Jones' breasts are reportedly no longer speaking to one another after her effusive public display of affection for them in last week's InStyle.
The stacked actress has refused to comment on her wack rack, but NS tipster Thurston Less reports that her left hillock has been boasting around town that, while Zeta-Jones did indeed cup both glands, she gave Lefty an extra-special squeeze.
"I know she meant me," said the booby. Her other mammary is refusing to comment.
Meanwhile, Jennifer Love Hewitt's knockers have filed suit against Zeta-Jones' sweater muffins claiming the tiff is nothing more than a cheap publicity stunt.
"Everyone knows we're the original 'love-my-breasts' breasts," Hewitt's chest told Psychology Today. "I mean, what more can we say? We're the tits."
- - - - - - - - - - - -
"I've got six nipples."
A composite of the 48 real Yorkshire pigs plus the animatronic double who played Babe in "Babe, Pig in the City," on why he gets the sows, in Maxim.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Taint funny
This was hole-ly uncalled for ...
In an upcoming Redbook interview, HBO star Sarah Jessica Parker says she's embarrassed by some of the naughty dialogue in "Sex in the City."
"Anyone who knows me knows I'm a prude," Parker tells Redbook. "I had to say the V-word in the pilot. It took me weeks to prepare. I don't use the F-word. But once in a while I like to say 'nipple.' Also, 'areola.' And especially 'perineum.' I really enjoy saying that. Perineum. It has a nice ring to it ... You wanna see my ass?"
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Down, bambino
"I wisha I coulda be a dog, so I could jumpa all over and licka the face and sticka the nose in the crotch and humpa the leg and eata the poop and licka the face and sit on the lap and shit on the carpet."
Adorable excuse for a pathetic, pandering worm Roberto Benigni, begging to be put out of his misery at the 72nd Academy Awards.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Juicy bits
Holy gazongas! Sarah Michelle Gellar's breasts are slated to star in an upcoming sitcom by the producers of "Moesha" and Attorney General Janet Reno. Gellar's stellar fellers will play a pair of wayward mammaries in search of answers who fall prey to the magnetic personality of charismatic sect leader David Koresh. Honk if you love cults!
Please don't squeeze the pouches! Two beloved American icons will be united for the first time on television next fall. Procter and Gamble announced this week that Pamela Anderson Lee's discarded breast implants and toilet tissue advocate Mr. Whipple will come together in a memorable commercial campaign for H.R Stuffinpuff, a discount plastic surgery chain.
- - - - - - - - - - - - | ||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
||
